My most recent group meditation in the Royal National Park revealed another of my animal guides. The creature I saw was a white fox, but I felt it looked a little more dog-like than fox-like (well, compared to the general shape of a red fox and what I thought a white fox looked like). I very clearly heard the word “fennec” and although I wasn’t quite sure exactly what a fennec looked like I remembered from somewhere way back in a distant memory that it was a relative of the fox, so I assumed that perhaps this little white beastie looking intently at me with gorgeous dark eyes might have been a fennec.
During the course of the meditation I was led into a ravine with my little foxy friend and we followed a path which eventually revealed a cave opening, high up on a cliff face. Somehow we managed to climb up to the cave and enter into the darkness. Inside I was met by another spirit guide — one whom I’ve never met before. I instinctively knew this person was male, even though his facial features and most of his body were in a severe state of decay. Imagine the bandages were unwrapped from a body that had been mummified a few hundred years ago and you’ll get an idea of what he looked like. Hanging from his dessicated and decaying body were scraps of what appeared to be native American Indian clothes. A few bedraggled feathers hung in the sparse strands of hair left on his head. The whole experience felt very underworldy. As he handed me a flaming torch I saw a number of other openings inside the cave, presumably leading to other caverns. Suddenly one opening became much larger and seemed to be propelled towards me (rather than me being propelled towards it). I took this to mean that my journey was to continue through this opening.
The three of us entered deeper into the maze of caverns — the white fox/fennec on my left, my “walking dead” spirit guide on my right — and I was taken on a personal journey to my past, present and future simultaneously, to search for fragments of my soul or aspects of myself that had been lost along my journey through life.
Most of my journey centered around the fact that for most of my life, especially in my younger years, I’d felt unable to be “me”, always trying to outwardly conform to other people’s expectations of what or who I thought that they thought I should be, in an effort to fit in and be accepted. I was never one of the “popular” kids and I think a lot of the other kids at school thought I was rather odd …school can be a very cruel and heartless place. Over the years I believe I got better at “fitting in” but a lot of the time I felt uncomfortable, not quite understanding what was expected of me. I guess everybody goes through the same thing to a greater or lesser extent, trying to find their way in life, but when it’s your personal experience you tend to forget that and think that only you have ever felt the sting of rejection and the need to “hide” aspects of yourself in order to feel accepted.
I continued on my journey with my guides, being shown many scenes from my life. I was able to view certain events from a different perspective and come to a better understanding of the outcomes and feel a little more “at peace” about many things. It was an interesting journey and somewhat therapeutic …a soul retrieval of sorts.
Soon we were being called back from the dreaming place to our surroundings in the park where we were meditating and it was time for everyone in the group to share their experiences. As usual, in spite of the guided part of the meditation not being specific about where our journeys would take us, we all experienced similar journeys back to our childhood and the various difficulties we all faced. Some people even had glimpses of other group members’ animal guides appearing as if in a “walk through” in their meditations. Even though this type of “synchronicity of thought” happens a lot during our regular meditations it still amazes and amuses us. 🙂
I found some information regarding my animal guide I saw during the meditation. As it turns out the animal I saw does actually look much more like a white fox than a fennec, but both names came through very clearly, so maybe the properties of fennec as a totem animal apply here as well. Once again the synchronicity is quite amazing! I didn’t know what the properties of ‘fox’ as an animal totem were but I was surprised to see just how relevant to my meditation the information turned out to be!
White (Arctic) Fox ~ Cunning, stealth, persistence. The arctic fox is infinitely adaptable, living its life in one of the world’s most extreme climates. Arctic fox people tend to be sly, graceful, and have a near magic ability to make something out of nothing, utilizing even the most limited of resources. Arctic fox as a totem can teach us the ability to go with the flow of life, changing ourselves to suit our ever-evolving environments.
Fennec ~ Playful, light-hearted, crafty. A small fox, the fennec is similar to its larger cousin, but has a more easygoing nature. Fennec people can be shy, but tend to have a good sense of humor, keen mind, and enjoy being an all-around jokester.
Fox ~ Patience, wisdom, intelligence, adaptability. Fox people can be high strung or exceedingly calm, charismatic or mysterious, prone to stand out or blend in, keep peace or make mischief. They tend to be partially rooted in the spirit world, living day to day in sort of a ‘world between’. Foxes are a strong symbol of femininity, shape-shifting, illusion, and magic.