The Gateway

Another of my artworks from long ago… I always had the feeling I was from somewhere else, that this planet was not my true home, and I longed to go back “home” …wherever that was.

“The Gateway” (click to enlarge)

On an intellectual level I didn’t really believe I was an alien from another planet as logically that just didn’t make sense at the time, given my rather sheltered and conservative upbringing (not sure it really makes sense now either but hey, it pays to keep an open mind, lol ;-)) but emotionally I felt somehow separated or alienated from the rest of humanity …well, at least the small portion of humanity I had come into contact with during my life. They didn’t really understand me, and I certainly didn’t understand them, which caused a lot of unnecessary pain on both sides.

With age comes wisdom and now I have a much better understanding of the whys and wherefores of the confused feelings I had in my youth, some of which were just the normal emotional “growing pains”, so to speak, of trying to discover one’s place in the world, and others were probably due to Asperger’s Syndrome and a different way of seeing the world compared to most people around me. I now  also know that  some of my misunderstandings were probably due to a chemical imbalance causing fuzzy thinking thanks to my gluten and casein intolerance which I knew nothing about at that time.

This picture represents my escape path to another world, somewhere “out there”, up a long winding staircase rising high above all the swirling, torturous and chaotic feelings in the watery depths below, and up past the highest mountain tops and on into a secret gateway to another dimension, freedom and “home”. I find it interesting how even back then, I subconsciously associated swirling water with emotions, and knowledge and enlightenment with air (not knowing anything at the time about elemental correspondences etc). As usual this drawing was done with ball point pen and coloured pencils. Because of my crappy scanner screwing up some of the colours and adding stripes where there were none I’ve had to do a bit of “fixing” with Photoshop. Overall though it doesn’t look too bad (still must buy a new scanner some day).

I thought it was also fitting to post this picture today because of the Solar Eclipse that took place this morning as this eclipse represents a gateway of sorts. I’ve been collecting snippets of information about that on my other blog, Dragon Dreaming

This is a time of letting go of old emotional habit patterns and letting go of the people that you have  become dependent on.  A Solar eclipse is about planting new seeds, new projects and reaching out for new  experiences. Solar Eclipses tend to relate to sudden events that disrupt our day-to-day functioning; they are the crisis that seems to come out of nowhere and that suddenly demand all of our conscious attention and focus. They tend to stir things up on a physical and conscious level much more than Lunar Eclipses.

You can read more about some of the energies surrounding this eclipse in my blog post at Dragon Awakening & Eclipses and my inane ramblings about my personal journey at Dragon Time. I guess I still have a different way of viewing the world compared to many, and some people might not accept that way of thinking and would believe I’m quite weird/mad/unbalanced/possessed/whatever. But I take solace in the fact that there are many others out there that have similar viewpoints — some Aspie, some not — and some are more “out there” than others, so I don’t feel so alienated any more. 😀

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13 thoughts on “The Gateway

  1. This drawing in incredible! Seriously! I have always had that same feeling of this not being my home. When I was a little kid (and whew, what a spiritual childhood that was!), I always wished I had a friend “who understood”, but I wasn’t sure exactly what it was I wished he or she would understand. I go to facinating places at night in dreams that feel just as real as anything in my waking hours. Have you ever looked at Delores Cannon’s books? She’s a hypnotherapist who deals with this whole subject and writes about it.

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    1. Thanks! I wish I could remember more of my dreams than I do, although most of the ones I do remember, while very real, are usually just distorted versions of earthbound reality rather than anything that feels like another planet …unless wherever else I’m seeing is/was so similar that I don’t recognize the difference. The alien landscapes like the ones in my drawings are always “seen” or imagined (or maybe are memories?) when I’m awake. I hadn’t heard of Dolores Cannon so I just Googled and found her website and had a quick look at “Legacy from the Stars” and “Between Death & Life” …fascinating stuff! I can see I’ll have some more reading to do …I think I need many more hours in the day to fit it all in though …so much interesting stuff out there to read, lol. 😀

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  2. I wonder if that you cannot remember you dreams means that you are a deep sleeper? Like maybe they are happening but are hard to remember. I am not a deep sleeper. I stay at the surface, which is why I remember so much. Crazy but I am struck by how the blue humanoids in your art work resemble people I see in my dreams. I am sure these are just dreams, as I can hear my husband telling my son to “go back to bed”, so I am not going anywhere. Still, I can’t take my eyes off this art work as it is so familiar! Coincidence I suppose.

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    1. Sorry I didn’t get to answer this sooner – have been very busy working on the latest edition of the Axis Mundi …just suffering a bit of “brain drain” at the moment after writing an article for the AM plus doing all the html coding etc …hopefully it’ll be finished in the next day or so.

      Anyway, I think the reason I don’t remember many of my dreams is that I’m often over-tired. I also I haven’t got the time in the morning to write down anything I do remember so by the time I can take a break in the busy morning schedule I’ve forgotten most of the details. It’s been school holidays here for the last 2 weeks (ending today though :-() and I’ve been able to go back to bed after getting my older son off to work on time (instead of having to stay up to get the next 2 sons out the door to school an hour later). I find the dreams I have in those 1 ½ to 2 hours of extra “sleep-in” time are much more easily remembered and are sometimes almost lucid dreams. But these days they’re always based around very normal events in my life, even though what happens in the dream might still be quite weird in comparison to “reality”.

      I’d read so many sci-fi books when I was younger that I can’t really be certain if any of my drawings are truly “my” visions of places I might have been in past lives perhaps or whether they’re all influenced by other people’s ideas. Maybe we (and others who “know” about blue people or “other places”) are tapping into a collective unconscious and accessing ancient memories of humanity’s past. Maybe that’s where a lot of ideas for sci-fi and fantasy come from, but the ideas are too “out there” so it’s more acceptable to call them fiction, or even coincidence, when people have similar thoughts and feelings about supposedly impossible or unreal places. I don’t really know how to explain it …but in any case it’s certainly intriguing and certainly worthy of further investigation …although I don’t know how that investigation would be carried out either. 🙂

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  3. What an amazing and beautiful picture! Maybe you could have been an architect. I’ve just seen the film ‘Inception’ – you might like it! Very complicated but fascinating concepts of dreams within dreams. xxx

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