Another of my artworks from long ago… I always had the feeling I was from somewhere else, that this planet was not my true home, and I longed to go back “home” …wherever that was.
On an intellectual level I didn’t really believe I was an alien from another planet as logically that just didn’t make sense at the time, given my rather sheltered and conservative upbringing (not sure it really makes sense now either but hey, it pays to keep an open mind, lol ;-)) but emotionally I felt somehow separated or alienated from the rest of humanity …well, at least the small portion of humanity I had come into contact with during my life. They didn’t really understand me, and I certainly didn’t understand them, which caused a lot of unnecessary pain on both sides.
With age comes wisdom and now I have a much better understanding of the whys and wherefores of the confused feelings I had in my youth, some of which were just the normal emotional “growing pains”, so to speak, of trying to discover one’s place in the world, and others were probably due to Asperger’s Syndrome and a different way of seeing the world compared to most people around me. I now also know that some of my misunderstandings were probably due to a chemical imbalance causing fuzzy thinking thanks to my gluten and casein intolerance which I knew nothing about at that time.
This picture represents my escape path to another world, somewhere “out there”, up a long winding staircase rising high above all the swirling, torturous and chaotic feelings in the watery depths below, and up past the highest mountain tops and on into a secret gateway to another dimension, freedom and “home”. I find it interesting how even back then, I subconsciously associated swirling water with emotions, and knowledge and enlightenment with air (not knowing anything at the time about elemental correspondences etc). As usual this drawing was done with ball point pen and coloured pencils. Because of my crappy scanner screwing up some of the colours and adding stripes where there were none I’ve had to do a bit of “fixing” with Photoshop. Overall though it doesn’t look too bad (still must buy a new scanner some day).
I thought it was also fitting to post this picture today because of the Solar Eclipse that took place this morning as this eclipse represents a gateway of sorts. I’ve been collecting snippets of information about that on my other blog, Dragon Dreaming…
This is a time of letting go of old emotional habit patterns and letting go of the people that you have become dependent on. A Solar eclipse is about planting new seeds, new projects and reaching out for new experiences. Solar Eclipses tend to relate to sudden events that disrupt our day-to-day functioning; they are the crisis that seems to come out of nowhere and that suddenly demand all of our conscious attention and focus. They tend to stir things up on a physical and conscious level much more than Lunar Eclipses.
You can read more about some of the energies surrounding this eclipse in my blog post at Dragon Awakening & Eclipses and my inane ramblings about my personal journey at Dragon Time. I guess I still have a different way of viewing the world compared to many, and some people might not accept that way of thinking and would believe I’m quite weird/mad/unbalanced/possessed/whatever. But I take solace in the fact that there are many others out there that have similar viewpoints — some Aspie, some not — and some are more “out there” than others, so I don’t feel so alienated any more. 😀