Aspergers, Synchronicity and Higher Purpose?

Daylight savings has started this weekend, and as usual when this happens I feel somewhat disoriented, unmotivated and lethargic. The fact that the time on the clock no longer matches the “expected” level of sunlight or the “feeling” of the day takes a bit of getting used to.  I’ve been stuffing around on the internet all day, generally wasting time.

Today I did something that I don’t normally do – I left a rather long message on a complete stranger’s LJ site. Now they’re not really a complete stranger in my mind, but we’ve never met so I guess that makes us “strangers”. They used to have a wonderful website, that I first came across in early 2003 and which I greatly admired and would go to often. Eventually they had to shut down the website, due to family commitments and time constraints. I was disappointed that the website was gone, but I understood why it had to be so. I had previously exchanged a couple of emails with this person about website links and a  few random niceties. Out of curiosity I’d looked at their various online photo albums, blogs etc, just to see who was behind the website that I admired so much. It’s strange how in your own mind you can feel “familiar” with someone you’ve never met, just by the things they post online for the world to see.

Apart from times when I wished I could still access their website I haven’t really thought about this person a lot since then – we are strangers after all, leading totally separate and unrelated lives. But today, in my weird, dreamy “otherplace” mood, I suddenly felt compelled to Google their name – I have no idea why. I found their LJ site, which I knew existed but had forgotten about as it’s “friends only”. I now have an LJ page of my own, which I don’t use much these days, so I decided to leave a message, saying basically “hello” and a couple of other things.

I then left my computer and went to do some housework, feeling guilty about wasting so much time writing to someone who doesn’t even know me and doing nothing in particular with the morning. Emptying the dishwasher is not very mentally stimulating (derrrr!) and my mind tends to wander. I found myself wondering if I was “meant” to contact this person because maybe their young son is autistic. Talk about a random thought! I dismissed it as me just being weird. Then again, he does have very intelligent, gifted “geeky” parents (no offence intended – just thinking about my blog about “The Geek Syndrome”). He is also very gifted and he does have a certain “look” about him. Yes, I know, everyone says that autism/Aspergers doesn’t have a “look” and I guess it doesn’t really – but there is something, perhaps only evident in retrospect, about the eyes. The autie/aspie kids I’ve seen are all beautiful looking kids with large eyes and long thick eyelashes. My paediatrician once remarked on my sons’ long eyelashes and said that in his experience they tended to be associated with “allergic” children. Hmmm… a bit of a stretch but it all kinda makes sense.

Stuff it – forget about the dishwasher and go back to the computer say I to myself. I followed some links but didn’t turn up anything of consequence, but still had this nagging thought in the back of my mind – one of those little “intuitions” that I’m trying to train myself to pay more attention to, in an attempt to get better in touch with my spiritual/psychic side, yet at the same time discounting as “probably nothing”. Still, anything at all is a welcome distraction from housework so I continued my search for info, and finally found that this person was indeed interested in learning about ASD. Okaaaaay – a little TZM (Twilight Zone Moment) for me there – the plot thickens, so to speak. Further Googling finally revealed their son’s diagnosis of Mild Asperger’s Syndrome – like my boys – and the fact that it’s a very recent Dx, plus their use of the GFCF diet and other dietary/nutritional treatments to help him. Hmmm… Google is both wonderful and scary at the same time.

Okay, so I followed my “intuition” and it came up positive, or maybe “spirit” led me to this info – now what? What was the point of this exercise? Is it just another of those weird little TZMs that happen to me occasionally?  Perhaps its a “message from the universe” – or wherever – to encourage me to follow these seemingly random thoughts more; validation that I do perhaps have  more psychic ability than I give myself credit for? I wish I could help this person, or offer some sort of support or advice but it’s really none of my business. And in any case I’m not sure what use I’d be (sigh).

I sometimes wonder if I’m “meant” to be letting people  know about the GFCF diet and its connection with Asperger’s and Autism, and other dietary effects on behaviour in general,  as I seem to be meeting more and more people needing this info – they seem to find me somehow. Is this my “higher purpose” in life?  …or some part of my karmic debt or whatever you want to call it? Or, maybe I’m just delusional, LOL.

My views on Asperger’s Syndrome are a little different to most other parents I’ve met, so I generally shut-up about that side of things. It’s hard to tell people that it’s not all bad and not sound ignorant or downright rude. After all, my boys and I are only mildly Aspie compared to others. What could I possibly know about what they’re “dealing” with, as they put it? But at the same time, I don’t think they are able to “see” the way their kids do – to really understand how it feels to be different and treated as such, and to have to pretend to be “normal” just to fit in and be accepted. A lot of aspies’ problems stem from the intolerance and lack of understanding shown by the neurotypical people around them – those who are supposedly NOT suffering from mind-blindness (yeah, right!). Try looking at Aspergers from the other side – the inside – and you’ll get a whole new perspective. You might begin to understand why so many aspie or high functioning autie kids get depressed and even suicidal (my own dear children included). The confusion and pressure to be something they’re not for the sake of being accepted  (and acceptable) gets too much at times. The bullying by their peers, even by so-called “friends”; the sometimes unforgiving treatment in an education system that just doesn’t cater for their needs or their style of learning; unfair comments and chastisement from other people, including family members (eg. grandparents) who just don’t “get it”  (in spite of having ASD explained to them) and continue to  misinterpret the child’s (or even aspie adult’s) behaviour or verbal responses as rudeness, selfishness, willful misconduct etc where certainly none was intended; it all hurts deeply and it all takes its toll. We’re not “wrong”, we’re just different! Learn to embrace diversity! We have to, why can’t you?

Hmmm… this is turning into a “rant” – time to get off my soap-box. Damn daylight saving! I still feel weird, and its after midnight – a smart person would go to bed about now, LOL.

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10 thoughts on “Aspergers, Synchronicity and Higher Purpose?

  1. just found your blog and what a fantastic read it is. My son has aspergers and I can relate to what your saying as I do find it hard to fully understand my son. I can do all the Reading in the world and may still not ever get it fully. I am interested in this diet you have written about. If you do have time I would love to hear more. My blog is a boy with aspergers http://aspergersinfo.wordpress.com
    Thanks again
    Clairelouise

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  2. Hi and thanks for stopping by. 😀

    Many other food chemicals, aside from gluten and casein can adversely affect a person’s behaviour. An excellent site to go to regarding this is The Food Intolerance Network run by Sue Dengate of Australia. I bought her book years ago “Fed Up”, which I thoroughly recommend. I worked from the information in that to get my family on an elimination diet and the results were amazing. I also eliminated gluten and casein from my ASD son’s diet, which gave even further improvements. Purchasing information for her book(s) is on her website, including overseas orders – you’re in the UK, right?

    There’s a lot of info online about the gluten free and casein (dairy) free diet and how to do it, as well as recipes and other info about GFCF food.

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  3. Please forgive me for writing you and not adding anything really interesting, but I need to unload to someone who’s in the same boat as myself.

    We recently moved here from another city. One of our young neighbors is autistic and can be a real nuisance. As you know, there’s no such thing as a random happening. In the process of learning more about autism, I was given an article on Temple Grandin. This got me to thinking about my own childhood in the 1950s and the nightmares I faced daily. As an adult I’d always assumed I was out of synch with the world because I was highly intuitive/psychic with ADHD but now realize there’s more to the picture than that.

    At my age it’s kind of a moot point as to whether I should “do anything” about having Asperger’s. What is annoying to me is that my friends I opened up to about this refuse to believe I could possibly be anything other than an ordinary artistically-oriented ADHD person because I’ve learned so thoroughly how to play the crappy game of acting like a regular person.

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  4. Hi and thanks for commenting. 😀 I know what you mean about friends not believing you. Sometimes I get asked why I think I’m an Aspie, so I tell them and then they make excuses for me saying that everybody does this or that behaviour to some extent. Its like they think they’re doing me a favour by telling me I’m not really an Aspie and that I’m really just like them, while also implying that being an Aspie is bad and something that they just can’t accept, which I find quite insulting. Some doubting relatives still say similar things about my kids too, even though the two youngest do have a diagnosis. Oh well, it doesn’t really matter I guess, but I agree that it is annoying.

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  5. My life is split among friends who are regular people and others who are more or less as intuitive as myself. I can see why so many researchers write that aspies think regular people are downright stupid (my words, not theirs). We learn how to be award winning actors from an early age and avoid those areas where we’re handicapped. In my case I can’t do anything that requires physical coordination like hitting or catching a ball, dancing, anything that involves rhythm. Singing or playing a musical instrument is out of the question. Some sounds turn me into a maniac and my regular friends can’t understand why. There’s a lot of other stuff, but I won’t bore you with it. I see things in terms of pictures, and I paint and sculpt. Used to do gallery shows but hated dealing with gallery owners and the public, so I quit exhibiting.

    Get this…my nephew is working on his doctorate in psychology, probably one day specializing in autism. He doesn’t believe anyone in our family is autistic or has Asperger’s. One of my first cousins is a savant. When we were little kids, she was diagnosed as borderline retarded. Of course back then doctors in the South knew nothing about autism.

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  6. I have a hard time accepting other people’s stupidity sometimes …not everyone can be awesomely brilliant! 😉

    I see things in pictures very clearly as well, and I find it difficult to comprehend how some others can’t. I wonder what people “see” in their mind if its not pictures? Hmmm… interesting. 😀

    Sounds like your nephew has a lot to learn …he sounds very NT in his denial of what’s right under his nose, LOL.

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  7. An email from my nephew. He’s working with another therapist evaluating an older man who has aspergers. These young guys realized that the man just wanted validation about why he wasn’t like regular people, not some kind of miracle “cure” to make him neuronormal. Well, duhhhhh….

    My partner is an aspie too, but an engineering one, IQ about 150. I’m only 137. He sees the world in black and white logic. Dreams in stick figures, if you can visualize that. Can’t understand why people have emotions. We constantly amaze each other, but both agree the outside world is crap.

    Sorry, but my computer currently has an unlocatable microsoft software glitch and I can’t follow through with your program’s automatically sending me emails. I can receive email, just not through that process. I don’t know. Electronics never function well with me. Too many departed people, danglers, guides, lesson helpers, etc. passing through here, I guess, plus I love to pull energy, the stronger the flow, the better.

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  8. This is fascinating. I have aspergers syndrome, but I regularly have ”psychic” visions of people, from a camera angle behind them as they move about, or of things that are going to come, or where people are. For example, after my great grandad passed away, I was in the kitchen, listening to the lottery. A voice in the upper part of my skull shouted 23! 23! The announcer said 23, the winning jackpot! I was 12 or 13. Very recently, I was on the phone to my sister. I was over a mile away at the time, but I got a vision in my head, it is as though I am watching her from the back seat of the car. I saw her boyfriend change into 4th gear, indicate to exit the roundabout. But then, I saw an older shaped nissan micra, in blue, in the way. I saw her boyfriend tailgate the elderly driver. I told my sister this as it happened, almost as though the phone signal was carrying my brain to the inside of the car. My little brother is severely autistic, and my mum has aspergers too.

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  9. Thanks Gary for sharing that amazing phone experience. It sounds like what is often referred to as “remote viewing”. I don’t know how or why it works but I’ve had similar experiences, including some while I’ve been driving which have been very useful.

    Once as I was driving to work in heavy traffic some years ago I suddenly got an image in my mind of an intersection which I had not yet come to. I could not see it yet with my eyes as it was still a few kilometres further ahead and also hidden from view around a sweeping curve in the road. In this vision I saw that the lane I was travelling in would be blocked by a small white car which was going to have to wait for oncoming traffic to clear before it could turn off the highway. I decided to take notice of this and changed lanes as soon as it was safe to do so. I continued driving and eventually came to the intersection I had “seen” and, sure enough, there was a small white car trying to make a turn from that lane, with a growing queue of cars stuck behind it …and I was happily driving past because of the “warning” to change lanes.

    I have no idea how or why that happened, nor do I know how to control it or make it happen when I need to. On other occasions I’ve just got an impression that a driver of another car is about to do something …kinda like I’ve “overheard” their thoughts somehow …quite weird really, and unfortunately I have no control over it, and it doesn’t happen often enough, but it sure does come in handy when it does work, lol. 😀

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