Hmm… random thoughts, musing, many ideas, not sure how to express them. Sometimes it’s frustrating having my brain. I can have a whole conversation with myself (or selves as it feels like sometimes) but when it comes to putting those ideas in writing something just doesn’t gel – the correct translation just doesn’t happen. Perhaps I worry too much about what others may think about what I write, before I write it, so that it never gets written. Sometimes I write so much, but say very little. I edit, delete, re-write and re-edit, trying to find perfection – but its just not there. Like now – so many words, yet what have I really said?
The majority of my “issues” are of my own making. I feel dissatisfied with myself and my short comings. I know how to fix these things, yet still I can’t seem to do it. Procrastination is probably my biggest failing at the moment – so many things being put off until later so that I can cope with all the stuff that’s come due now (because it too was put off until later – trouble is later has become now), and the never-ending day-to-day “surprises” that have to be dealt with immediately that spoil my plans to do other things. I feel so disorganized and also like I’m forever running on empty like a vehicle with no fuel, particularly so over the last few weeks. I feel like something will come to a head soon – something must change! I keep hoping that “this time it will be different” …but it never is, well, not so far anyway …don’t want to put too many negative thoughts out there – must stay positive!
Often I look to astrology for some explanation of what’s going on in my life and the lives of those around me. I guess I find some comfort in all the “aha” moments – the synchronicities I read about which make me think that maybe it was all “meant to be” after all, and that things are progressing as they should. For instance, the energies of the current eclipses appear to be having a similar effect on a lot of my friends – many report of being in a twilight zone, in limbo, facing blockages or “brick walls” in life, feeling stuck, tired, zonked out etc and having “issues” to deal with and the need for change, to let go and move forward to a better place to find satisfaction and fulfilment.
We’ve just experienced a Total Solar Eclipse on August 1st, which also formed a rare alignment with the Imbolc cross-quarter gateway – a powerful midpoint between the Winter Solstice and the Spring Equinox. Our Circle celebrated this important Dark Moon with a rite to honour LILITH. Just one week later was the 8:8:8 gateway (08/08/08) – another significant portal – which also fell on the day of the First Quarter Moon at 13 degrees of Scorpio. This is followed by a Full Moon and Partial Lunar Eclipse on August 17th at 24 degrees Aquarius.
According to some astrologers the two-week period between a Solar and Lunar eclipse seems to be an especially unstable, emotionally sensitive, even frenetic time. One writer describes this time between eclipses as…
“a VORTEX or tornado of change. It is as if under the first eclipse (in this case on August 1st) Dorothy and ‘the house’ get swept up into the tornado/vortex of the eclipse window. The house – which represents the structures of our lives and our culture, and even our bodies – doesn’t land until the second eclipse two weeks later. During those two weeks we are walking in a time-out-of-time, a space of unlimited potential. It contains tremendous possibility to leap into new ways of being in our lives. It is a zero-point of potential – a time out of time – with unknown wild-card outcomes and permutations of reality waiting to be seized. This month that time period stretches from August 1st to August 17th. And this eclipse vortex is especially interesting because at the EXACT midpoint (the First Quarter Moon of August 8th) we have a Gregorian-Calendar date of numerological significance – 08-08-08, a portal in and of itself. Thus we have three portals and a vortex this month. – Carol Ann Ciocco”
Well, there’s certainly something going on with everybody at the moment!
“Sets of eclipses and their respective themes have a pattern which repeats about every nineteen years. In addition, there are many cycles of eclipses – some recurring relatively frequently, some taking decades, even centuries to recur.
In general, there are two sets of eclipses per year. Each set has a lunar (associated with the full moon) eclipse and a solar (associated with the new moon) eclipse. Each set (with the eclipses occurring two weeks apart) is like a Vortex of possibility and change. And the two sets (occurring about 6 months apart) are like a pair of parentheses with a ‘profound statement’ about our development in between. This is the second eclipse vortex of 2008. The first set was in February 2008; so the themes that emerged in your life at that time will culminate or expand under the eclipses of August”.
I’m trying to think back to what I was doing and what I wanted back in February – can’t remember exactly but I know many of my goals for self-improvement were the same as what they are now, and I still haven’t achieved them. Maybe in a couple of days, after the next eclipse – if I extract the proverbial digit – a miracle might happen! LOL
“When eclipses occur, it’s time to get over what’s been, to move on, to shake off, and to restart. Often relationships end dramatically and suddenly at the time of an eclipse because we’ve been clinging on to something which we should have had the sense to let go of ages earlier. It’s often said that what ends at the time of an eclipse will never restart. This sounds harsh and a little bit scary but the reason comes back to the same deal: what happens around the eclipse is meant to be. It can take days, weeks, months and even years to see it, but it does eventually become clear.” – Yasmind Boland, http://www.moonology.com
This information certainly rings true at the moment. I know that I have habits and ways of doing things about which if Dr Phil asked me, “Are they workin’ for ya?” the answer would have to be a resounding NO! These are what I have to let go of – things I’ve been trying to let go of for a long time but haven’t quite managed to do so yet – that elusive “miracle”. All it requires is a bit more effort and resolve to get the results I so desperately seek – simple really …yeah well, maybe…
Then there are other people who have relationship issues to deal with, and sadly some may not have the outcome that their friends and family would like to see. Yes this too is unfortunately also reflected in the eclipse info given above. However, in my view it might not always mean that it is the actual marital relationship or friendship that will end dramatically and suddenly.
Consider this – in the case of a marriage under threat, perhaps it’s not the marriage that has to go, but rather the attitudes held towards the marriage by each of the two partners and towards each other that need to be let go of, in favour of some more lenient, tolerant or enlightened lines of thinking. In any relationship each person is a mirror of the other – as well as all the good things, they also see in each other what they don’t like or feel insecure about in themselves. For instance, both partners may have similar fears of rejection or lack of acceptance by other people and these feelings affect how they interact with each other – each one always on the defensive, still doubting their own worth in the eyes of their partner – eventually leading to misdirected anger and lashing out, and maybe separation in an attempt at self preservation. Each person mistakenly believes that if only they could help their partner to change and come around to their way of thinking everything would be fine. Unfortunately you cannot change another person – that has to come from within themselves.
From what I’ve seen over the years of friends and family who’ve divorced, and even those who are still together, it seems that calm, rational and clear communication between both partners is a very rare commodity, as is patience and sometimes trust. Patience really is a virtue but it sure is hard to develop and maintain sometimes. I think society in general is becoming more impatient – or maybe I’m just getting old. Then again, wisdom is supposed to come with age, LOL. As Mahatma Ghandi said, we must be the change we want to see in the world. If both partners are prepared to work through and then leave behind all the tired old misconceptions, misunderstandings, confusion and misgivings it could bring about a whole new relationship within the same marriage – the fresh start heralded by the eclipses.
While talking about marriage and divorce, I guess that could also lead to speculation about the possibility of soul mates – do they exist and how do you really know if you’ve found one or not? You might think you’ve found a soul mate, only to have the relationship end some time down the track. I don’t see my marriage ending any time soon, so maybe I have found my soul mate – who knows? We’re happy – sure, there’s ups and downs – there is in any marriage, but I guess the key to staying together happily is in being able to communicate effectively and to be able to make the effort to really understand why the other person feels the way they do. And, as well as that, you both need a good dose of tolerance, acceptance, honesty, trust and patience (there’s that word again) to let your partner “just be” without trying to change them. As I said before, you can only ever change yourself.
Anyway, back to soul mates. Of course I went Googling – something I do far too often these days and one of the things I need to change, or at least bring some balance to in comparison with how I spend the rest of my time. Based on a checklist I found, maybe I have married my soul mate …pretty darned close anyway, LOL…
Maybe you’ve married your soul mate and just didn’t realize it. Check out this list of soul mate partnership characteristics.
- In order to recognize your soul mate, you must first know yourself.
- Soul mate marriages are well balanced, strong and positive. There is a lack of intimidation, manipulation or abuse. They make a person feel safe.
- A relationship with a soul mate is a natural fit and feels like it is meant to be. This type of marriage is not difficult to maintain.
- A soul mate partner feels like a mirror to their spouse.
- A marriage to a soul mate is filled with honesty and support.
- There is a sense of familiarity and mutuality in a marriage to a soul mate.
- These marriages are healthy, passionate and harmonious. They can easily get a lot done by working together.
- Couples who are soul mates often take joy in watching the growth of one another.
- A soul mate will accept who you are, will bring out the best in you, challenges you, and is your best friend. A soul mate will not require you to change.
- Soul mates relish small moments together and cherish their commitment to their marriage.
- Take a Jungian personality type quiz to compare your personality styles.
Be wary of looking for a mate who is ideal and who feels and thinks exactly the way you do. No one can live up to that kind of standard. Soul mates don’t agree on everything.
Don’t use the soul mate concept as an excuse to walk away from your commitment to your marriage.
Remember you can still have difficult times even when married to your soul mate. Romance is a gamble.
…strange where “random thoughts” can lead to. And in another little synchronistic twist I’ve only just noticed, since writing all this, that the tarot card drawn for the SOL forum tarot reading tonight is…
Eight Of Staffs – Directness
Clear, direct communication is vital at this time, as you are at the threshold of something important. Don’t waste time wallowing in confusion, the arrows in this image symbolise your power to focus. Situations in your life are standing out in high relief, indicating that some changes are necessary in order to bring in something new into your life which will open up your world of possibilities.
This card indicates that you are now able to accomplish your goals through direct, swift action. Changes are occurring within you and around you, and you need to be focused and clear about what you want. This is a time of forward movement, and indicates that good news is on its way that will bring you some welcome happiness.
Gotta love synchronicity!
This whole monologue is probably of no interest to anybody except me, but that’s ok – I just felt the need to vent and ramble. So many others are doing it these days on blogs all over the world so why not me too?
Blessed be everybody.
~ J ~