Much Ado About Nothing

This poem was written in October 2004, when I was a member of a now defunct Pagan group and forum called “Sutherland Shire Eclectic Pagans”. Just for a bit of fun we would occasionally set “homework” tasks to keep the forum active. This poem below was my reply to one such homework request…

Hey guys… here is this week’s homework.
Due: Mon, 18th October ’04
Write a poem about anything you want… it doesn’t need a particular structure either. It can be free verse, haiku, rhyming, limerick, whatever.
Can’t wait to see them!

“Much Ado About Nothing”

by Jenwytch

Owl has set a mighty task.
And what is this? I hear you ask.
To write a poem, the subject – any.
My thoughts right now – I haven’t many.
So here I sit and rack my brain
This thinking process causes pain
No inspiration is at hand
This poem, so far, is rather bland.
The kids are watching Simpsons now
I should get dinner anyhow
But domestic chores are not my caper
I’d rather put my pen to paper.
I could ramble on for near all night
It could turn into a sorry plight.
Perhaps I should just quit right now
Bugger! The kids are having a row!

Commotion quelled, I’m back to work
My homework duties, I mustn’t shirk.
But wait, young Brendan wants to play
Some backyard cricket at the end of the day.
So now it’s off outside I go
While the sun still has a little glow
To try to connect the ball with bat
At least I won’t have to wear a hat.

The sun grew dim, as did my aim
And cricket is a boring game.
A mother’s work is never done
But at least I now have a happy son.
So back to work to write this verse
The subject matter is getting worse!
So where to look for inspiration?
Shit! Ice-cream needs refrigeration!
They’ve spilt some on the kitchen table
To scoop it up I won’t be able
It’s spread out in a goopy mess.
This slack-arsed attitude I must address!
This poem I want to sit and write
Without being up all bloody night.
So, clean the mess and get things sorted
Maybe this poem should just be aborted.

Perhaps if I use the dictionary?
Nah… could lead to rhyme that’s far too scary.
Or then again there’s the trusty Thesaurus…
Yes, it rhymes with Tyrannosaurus
Of which we have many in our collection
An overabundance, upon reflection,
Of dinosaurs and other toys
Left all over the place by my darling boys.

I could always open a bottle of ‘chardy’
But to drink wine now would be foolhardy
On second thoughts it might just help.
The neighbours’ dog just gave a yelp!
And now both dogs are barking hard
At noises they hear out in the yard.
Those brainless mongrels won’t shut up
If it weren’t for them I’d get a pup
But by the Dane it might get eaten
Our fence, by her, is severely beaten.
Over the fence she sticks her head
And makes you feel she’d kill you dead
With teeth bared, growling and drool splurts flying.
Away from her you feel like shying
But when you’re in her owners’ place
She’s the sweetest thing and will lick your face
The neighbours treat her like their baby
She seems quite calm and happy, maybe.

Now I’ve lost my train of thought
To finish this poem I really ought.
But the dogs are still barking and won’t desist
That wine is getting harder to resist!
I think the time has come to cease
These ramblings, and to get some peace
And sit and veg out on TV
So kids and dogs won’t bother me.

Copyright © 2004-2012 Jenwytch


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