A 40th Birthday Poem – 4 Variations

This is a  poem I wrote for friends of mine,  each time with slight changes to personalize it for each recipient (a lot of my friends turned 40 that same year, lol).  The repeated bits in subsequent poems are in italics/smaller font.

1. Robyn’s 40th (1998)

I felt I had to write a poem inside this card for you.
‘Cause forty’s rather special, (more than twelve or twenty-two).
But trying to think of what to write became a little hard,
as I couldn’t think of anything better than what’s printed in this card.

You’d think I’d be inspired by all the other cards I’ve read.
But they’re mostly full of insults and not nice things instead.
Some talk of sex and younger men, or being half of eighty.
Still others mention “F” words and problems rather weighty.

Of fat and bags and wrinkles, not to mention cellulite,
and decay and retardation many “Forty” cards do write.
Plus shrinking brains, arthritic pains or the sagging effects of gravity.
Yet more I’ve read do sink instead to lines of pure depravity.

Although they’re mostly funny with their sarcastic sort of wit
when you see them over and over again they wear thin just a little bit.
So I sought to find a card more kind but still one that wasn’t mushy.
I think it says all the right kind of things without being overly gushy.

It’s been five years since your previous poem, for your thirty-fifth I did write.
And for your fortieth, this little gem, I did write to you tonight.
And ten years from now (I’ll need extra time) I’ll write you a poem for fifty.
And in spite of the drain of old age on my brain I’m sure I will make it quite nifty.

(Poem written 14/01/1998)
Copyright © 1998-2012 Jenwytch

2. Sue’s 40th (1998)

I felt I had to write a poem to go with your card too.
Cause forty’s rather special, (more than twelve or twenty-two).
But trying to think of what to write became a little hard,
as I couldn’t think of anything better than what’s printed in this card.

You’d think I’d be inspired by all the other cards I’ve read.
But they’re mostly full of insults and not nice things instead.
Some talk of sex and younger men, or being half of eighty.
Still others mention “F” words and problems rather weighty.

Of fat and bags and wrinkles, not to mention cellulite,
and decay and retardation many “Forty” cards do write.
Plus shrinking brains, arthritic pains or the sagging effects of gravity.
Yet more I’ve read do sink instead to lines of pure depravity.

Although they’re mostly funny with their sarcastic sort of wit
when you see them over and over again they wear thin just a little bit.

So I sought to find a card more kind but then thought, “Stuff it! This is Sue!”
I looked long and hard, then found the card, ’twas perfect, just for you!

You probably haven’t got it yet;  we posted it last Friday.
So it’s still a little surprise to get and could be there by your birthday.
So welcome now to MIDDLE AGE, you’re an oldy through and through.
Don’t laugh too hard at all your cards; the sad thing is…..they’re true!!!!!!

P.S. (next section by Peter – Sue’s brother)

Jenny thinks I’m not capable of writing poetic abuse.
But I really love to torment, just like your husband Bruce.
We’re sorry we aren’t there to celebrate at your place,
and insult you even further more personally – to your face.

Now I should remind you of all the old age ailings,
And all of your past years and of your many failings.
But this would only add to the sadness you must feel
at reaching this big milestone. You’re old now; it’s a big deal.

I heard a comment on forty that might make some sense.
You’re really only twenty-one with nineteen years experience.
Stirring you at forty years has been lots and lots of fun.
Only one thing upsets me, and that is – I’m forty-one.

P.P.S. (next section by Adrian – Sue’s delightful nephew – my darling 12 year old son)

It’s Adrian on the line now,
I’m in a poetic mood.
I was told I had to be extra nice
But let’s face it, I’ve gotta be rude.

No-one stays young forever,
One day I’ll turn FORTY too,
But I’ve still got about 28 years
So HA! HA!, nuts to you!

Why turning forty is such a bad thing,
I really wouldn’t know.
Perhaps it’s got something to do with the wrinkles
Or the fungus that starts to grow.

Your facial muscles begin to die,
And your lips are filled with slack.
Wait!, doesn’t your head support your brain?
ANOTHER big set back!

I’m ending the poem just about now,
But I’m still bored out of my mind.
I think I’ll write your 50 poem
And I won’t be nearly as kind!

(Poem written 25/01/1998)
Copyright © 1998-2012 Jenwytch

3. Birdie’s 40th (1998)

I felt I had to write a poem inside your card for you.
Cause forty’s rather special, (more than twelve or twenty-two).
But trying to think of what to write became a little hard,
as I couldn’t think of anything better than what’s printed in this card.

You’d think I’d be inspired by all the other cards I’ve read.
But they’re mostly full of insults and not nice things instead.
Some talk of sex and younger men, or being half of eighty.
Still others mention “F” words and problems rather weighty.

Of fat and bags and wrinkles, not to mention cellulite,
and decay and retardation many “Forty” cards do write.
Plus shrinking brains, arthritic pains or the sagging effects of gravity.
Yet more I’ve read do sink instead to lines of pure depravity.

Although they’re mostly funny with their sarcastic sort of wit
when you see them over and over again they wear thin just a little bit.
So I sought to find a card more kind but still one that wasn’t mushy.
I think it says all the right kind of things without being overly gushy.

So, HAPPY BIRTHDAY Birdie!!!!!
Have a great day on Sunday!
I hope you like “Dog’s Little Poem”
It was thought of on a Thursday!

(Poem written 19/02/1998)
Copyright © 1998-2012 Jenwytch

4. Rossana’s 40th (April 1998)

I felt I had to write a poem to go with your card too.
Cause forty’s rather special, (more than twelve or twenty-two).
But trying to think of what to write became a little hard,
as I couldn’t think of anything better than what’s printed in this card.

You’d think I’d be inspired by all the other cards I’ve read.
But they’re mostly full of insults and not nice things instead.
Some talk of sex and younger men, or being half of eighty.
Still others mention “F” words and problems rather weighty.

Of fat and bags and wrinkles, not to mention cellulite,
and decay and retardation many “Forty” cards do write.
Plus shrinking brains, arthritic pains or the sagging effects of gravity.
Yet more I’ve read do sink instead to lines of pure depravity.

Although they’re mostly funny with their sarcastic sort of wit
when you see them over and over again they wear thin just a little bit.

So I sought to find a card more kind to convey the appropriate sentiment.
It’s short and sweet and to the point without any sarcasm evident.

But just one jibe I have to make regarding your new found maturity.
Perhaps you hoped Queensland’s SLOWER life, against aging, would give some security?!
So welcome now to MIDDLEAGE ,you’re an oldy through and through.
Don’t laugh too hard at all your cards, the sad thing is ……..they’re true!!!

(Poem written 24/04/1998)
Copyright © 1998-2012 Jenwytch

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