Strengths & Advantages of being an Aspie!

34 comments on “Strengths & Advantages of being an Aspie!

  1. I love this perspective! I suspect that my exboyfriend is an aspie and when I researched it, I was disappointed to see it viewed so negatively. There are many remarkable characteristics of aspies.

  2. Thanks for commenting. :-) It would be nice if many more people could view aspies this way as well and see all the good things instead of only focusing on what they see as deficits, and to also realise that aspies don’t necessarily see themselves as disabled, defective or “wrong”.

    Diversity is a good thing, and people should be more accepting of it, but as with anything I guess it takes more time for some than others to adjust to new ways of thinking and for these changes to filter through the medical profession and the general populace.

    Cheers,
    Jenny

  3. Carla wrote “I was disappointed to see it viewed so negatively”. Maybe the viewers have been fed up by the Aspie way of cooperation or communication?

    Some years ago I met a man I suspect is an aspie. I was fascinated and mesmerized. As he and his troubleshooter karma and professional skills saved me from really messing up my own job, he’s still my Big Hero. On the other hand, his social skills and lack of interest in anything but professional topics puzzled me and, well…..(long and sad story – PERIOD).
    Anyway, after a long time, I eventually found out about AS and after that, I’ve read whatever I could find! I’m still fascinated, I love the results of the aspie strength – it’s just for me to learn how to communicate.

  4. Elisabeth wrote, “Maybe the viewers have been fed up by the Aspie way of cooperation or communication?”

    If that’s the case “the viewers” may be suffering from Neurotypical Syndrome. ;-)

    “Neurotypical Syndrome is a neurobiological disorder characterized by preoccupation with social concerns, delusions of superiority, and obsession with conformity.”

    You can find out more about this terrible affliction from the Institute for the Study of the Neurologically Typical. :-D

    • That is such great and funny comment about neurotypicals. I really laughed at your comment. I don’t get why it has to be such an important thing to fit in and be a social butterfly.

      • Thanks Cheryl :-D I agree!
        (I’d love to claim the funny comment as my own but it’s actually a quote from the “Institute” in the link just below it.)

  5. Thanks Liane! :-D Your words have certainly made my day a better day too! I appreciate you leaving a comment on my humble little blog. :-)

    Cheers,
    Jenny

  6. Wow! Good on you for this thoughtful and well researched review of the topic! I love the way you contribute to increasing compassion and understanding between people and I’m so glad I stopped by to educate myself a bit.

  7. :-D Thank you Alison!

    BTW I assume you are referring to my article in the Axis Mundi that was linked to this page (and also appears here on my blog), and not this actual page which is obviously not my own work. :-)

  8. More of what I already knew, but it warrants hearing again. Over and over. Thanks for posting.
    It IS a shame AS is viewed in such a negative light. Not only a shame, but lazy and irresponsible. Where’s the Aspie doctors? Do us Aspie lay-people have to do all the work?
    It’s easier for most, who tend to fear the unknown, to downgrade it into something they can assimilate. Many believe AS is a mental illness or form of mental retardation. This is so much easier to grasp and file than the truth. Especially for those that have watched us grow up and have years of annoyance for a foundation.
    Thanks again
    …v

  9. Oh my gosh this is amazing! I am 22 and just learned I have AS 2 years ago. It’s been a struggle trying to understand this and really dig deep into my personality to see how my mind really works. It was really hard at first until I found some other sites where people discuss it openly. Finding amazing articles like this help keep me grounded and always provide refreshing perspectives to what it’s like. As a fellow Aspie (love that term btw), it’s really hard to step out of your own frustrations and stress more on the perks of having unusual interests and habits. I’m starting to appreciate my quirky self and also learning to take more initiative with my personal goals and really trying to finish what I start, despite my very distracting interest-pursuing habits.

    If anything I’ve also found that writing a LOT is good to help materialize and organize thoughts which a lot of Aspies can’t do naturally (aka executive dysfunction). I struggle the most with planning and thinking in terms of consequences and physically writing my thoughts down helps me trace where my mind goes and I can actually start to organize my thoughts and gain control over my future in terms of school and working and whatnot. I recommend every Aspie try it for a week or so for 20 minutes a day. It made a world of difference, and it’s addicting!!

  10. Hello :)
    I have suspected Asperger’s Syndrome (I am 22 and have never been dianosed, but have a life time of showing characteristics of an Aspie) I also am Pagan, and I really like this take on Asperger’s Syndrome, rather than the stigma that seems to surround it in other media forms.

    Thanks for the inspiration

    Blessed be
    xxxx

  11. Hello, I am an Aspie. I liked reading this, because it is accurate and places a new “spin” on the way people like myself are perceived. All of these good things are true, but I would trade them all in a heartbeat just to be like everyone else. I’ve been isolated my whole life, and wish for nothing more than the end of it. I never asked for this, and I never asked to be born into a world revolving around lies. I wish I could sleep well, and I wish I could make friends, but everyone always leaves in the end. My loyalty is always rewarded with the same lies, the same hurt, and the same isolation. This world is so sick that it thinks the cure is poison, and I just don’t know what to do.

    • Hi Paul, I’m glad you liked reading the article and I hope it might serve as inspiration for you to be proud of who you are and to focus on your strengths, rather than your perceived shortcomings. I asked one of my sons how he would reply to your comment (he’s the most Aspie of my boys and the first to be diagnosed) and he said, “Live on the internet and you’ll be happy (meaning you can avoid all the irritating people in your life, and you won’t have to keep ‘dumbing yourself down’ to fit in)”. I don’t know that it’s the most practical advice but there is an element of truth there, LOL. If you haven’t already done so I would recommend having a look at online support groups, such as the ones listed on Dr. Tony Attwood’s (the author of the above article) website in the “Support Groups” and “Links” sections of his website http://www.tonyattwood.com.au. That could eventually lead to meeting up with people in person. And if you are already part of such groups, maybe look at some different ones to find the acceptance you’re looking for. Be proud of who you are and surround yourself with people who will support you rather than criticize and bring you down, and maybe you’ll start to notice a change for the better. Just because you’re “different” in some ways doesn’t mean that you’re “wrong” and other people need to learn that from you. Try thinking of yourself as ‘topdog’ instead of ‘underdog’. ;) I know all this is easier said than done, but I really don’t know what else to say, except that I sincerely wish you well.

  12. This is a very inspiring and positive perspective on aspies. My son has always been branded as an aspie in any school we take him to, but it is often regarded as something negative or that should be “cured”.

    As parents, we’ve accepted how my son is – and we offer no excuses because it is just the way he is and we love his uniqueness.

  13. Do you watch the Good Wife? One character semms to have AS ( Kalinda ) AS and she’s taking a lot of shit from the other characters and also from her so called fans.
    After 38 years banginig my head against other’s ,
    I am personnally very tired and angry against neurotipycal fuckwittery euh… comunication.
    I did enjoy reading your posts.The fact is we, aspies, communicate, neurotipytwats MANIPULATE and do nothing but…

    Greetings from France

  14. I’m 30 and have always known I was different. I used to tell people I’m the weirdest normal person they would ever meet. I had never heard of AS until a few weeks ago, and when I started reading about it, it’s like all the light bulbs in my head went off at the same time….and then it all made sense! I did great amounts of self-research about all the ASD’s to make sure I didn’t fall in somewhere else, and lo and behold, AS it is! And when I realized there are actually other people who know they are different too, it was a great relief. But I still fail to find why this is called a “syndrome”, in my mind normal people are the ones with the “syndrome”, there’s just more normal people so they have the majority I guess. I see it as a gift and nothing else. Others see it as a problem just because I don’t enjoy anything dealing with social interaction, and all the other little intricate “not normal” things about me. They feel sorry for me, but I could care less about social interaction, it does nothing for me, so why is it a problem? It’s fun for me to read about other people with AS and the way they think about things, it makes me feel even better that I can relate. I might start a blog of my own, sounds fun!!

  15. I took had my son take his daughter/my grand daughter to the dr the day before she turned 3 she was instantly diagnosed as aspie. It took months for her mom to admit her aspie probability. I insist that those working with us refer to the childs super powers or kryptonite ae work thru or with her needs. My personal goal is to give her all the resources I can to be the best,appiest person she can be. Her pre-school didn’t want to allow for her sensory needs as it would make her feel different and I lost my cool…trust me at three she already knows she has special powers.new grounds I also believe she sees spirits, but I will have to continue to read her ques and figure it out. info is hard to find, and the aspie identification is so new I am in awe watching her every day and I know that no matter what I imagine she might discover or find a cure for, I am I’ll equipped to begin to know her super power capabilities.

  16. I took had my son take his daughter/my grand daughter to the dr the day before she turned 3 she was instantly diagnosed as aspie. It took months for her mom to admit her aspie probability. I insist that those working with us refer to the childs super powers or kryptonite ae work thru or with her needs. My personal goal is to give her all the resources I can to be the best, happiest person she can be. Her pre-school didn’t want to allow for her sensory needs as it would make her feel different and I lost my cool…trust me at three she already knows she has special powers. The aspie identification is so new I am in awe watching her every day and I know that no matter what I imagine she might discover or find a cure for, I am I’ll equipped to begin to know her super power capabilities but look forward to learning. (my droidx texting is rough..i apologize for improper sentences.)

  17. i am aspie and i consider it to be an evolutionary leap…….except i hate my crummy social skills.
    good that i have a great NT wife to show me the way. i keep my aspie side hidden from public view .it works most of the time , but when really exhausted then i morph into a full blown aspie. i get an accent , find myself lipsmacking, my gait and hand posture become sterotyipical……
    and i can feel my tongue want to thrust…….yep fair amount of explaining to do ..sometimes.(.especially my aspie accent )….usually make something up as am in a profession where being an aspie is not accepted–yet. living 2 two lives does kind of suck and ya burn up lot of energy faking it in NT world.
    i long for the day when we will be accepted for WHO we are by NT world.

  18. i should also say ; when i first found out i had aspergers , i think i wept for at least 30 minutes.
    i was alone in the car driving home. i’m not sure why i cried so much, but i don’t think it was for joy , maybe it was all those years of loneliness expressing itself. since then i have learned alot about AS and now feel lots better about things.
    thank you for sight like this one .

    • …and thank you for your appreciation of my site. It feels good to know I can help others, even if only in a very small way by having this website. :)

  19. Hi Jenny, I really appreciate this entry and your site. I’m dating an aspie. He is one of the most interesting, intelligent, quirky, honest, sensual, funny, self-aware and self-sufficient guys I’ve ever known. Like any relationship, not without challenges, but we communicate pretty well and directly. I work in international development and think of it a bit that way. I need to be conscious of a different way of thinking and moving in the world. And how to be respectful of that….

  20. Hi, it’s me again. I have a question for all of you. I say that I’m dating an aspie but, in truth, we’ve never used that word. He’s told me that he can’t look me in the eyes, can’t read women especially at the beginning, is highly literal, is a bit virgo (well—organized and particular), needs notice for change, highly sensitive to sounds, smells etc. So, he’s told me all I need to know and, like I said, we seem to communicate well and directly.

    Some friends have insisted that I ask him if he’s ever been diagnosed. I hesitate because of the way it is expressed & the fact that he’s never raised it if he has. And he’s very self-aware. I too have a problem with the word syndrome but I have no problem with the fact that he is aspie. Should I ask him?

    • Hi JJ, thanks for stopping by. As you can see from some of the comments here, people can have different reactions to finding out they are Aspie. Personally I found it a great relief to know that I wasn’t alone in my ‘weirdness’ (even though I have not been formally diagnosed). Suddenly many incidents in my life, from my first memories of childhood and onwards, all made sense to me now. I came to find all this information when I was looking for info to help one of my sons, who I suspected showed some signs of Autism. I’d never heard of Aspergers until then but suddenly everything fell into place, including why my son was the way he was. I then realised I could trace Aspergers traits back through my father’s side of the family (and forward via my cousins and their children with ADHD and various “eccentricities”). There were relatives past and present, including my dad, who were often referred to as “unique” or “eccentric” but always likeable and trustworthy etc. As I said, for me it was a welcome relief, but I’d found all this info myself. I don’t know quite how I would have reacted if someone had asked me about it before I’d made my own “diagnosis”. I suspect I would have felt some element of defensiveness and maybe even resentfulness about being told I was not ‘normal’ …depends on the manner of delivery of the message I suppose. I don’t think I would have ‘shot the messenger’ but I would have needed time to process the information, and I know I would have immediately thought of all the things I can do better than a lot of others to justify to myself that I was ‘superior’ in some way. Actually a ‘superiority complex’ can be one of the character traits of some Aspies that really annoys NTs, lol. :D

      If you do decide to ask your boyfriend, perhaps it would be better to ask him if he’s ever wondered why he can’t look you in the eye, or ‘read’ people the way others can, and why he’s so sensitive to various stimuli when others aren’t. Then you could tell him how you came across info on Aspergers that describes him exactly. Then ask him if he’s ever heard of it before and if not, let him know that it’s not a bad thing and that it’s a neurological difference that can result in a lot of advantages as well as some difficulties, but it is an explanation of why he is the way he is. Then go on to point out all the wonderful positives about his different ‘way of being’ …or something along those lines anyway… and take things from there and see where it all leads. :)

      I found one thing that really did help me was to read the thoughts and experiences of other Aspies …in fact at times I still get so excited when somebody has written something that I feel but can’t articulate well enough myself. I read it and think yes, yes, yes, that’s me too! Maybe he might see something here in my blog or any of the others I have in my links sections, that ‘resonates’ with him too.

  21. Thanks so much Jenny! Very helpful advice- I like the…do you ever wonder why? Maybe wait until he brings up one of these traits as a springboard. I once told him that he can be difficult to understand or predict because he’s (wonderfully) not like other guys. I will really bring in all of those qualities that I mentioned above that I love about him. Also struck me in hindsight that I shouldn’t raise it when we’re arguing or having problems communicating. Then it definitely seems like I’m blaming his way of being when any tensions in a relationship are a factor of both. My chaos and drama, at times, can’t be easy on him. And he’s always very straight with me. Problems can arise when I’m feeling and acting insecure & unfairly expect him to understand that I need reinforcement. Thanks again. I will check out those other resources.

  22. Thank you for your website. I am struggling with the issue that I now know these tendencies have a name and can not be remedied. I thought I could continue to micromanage the feelings, and they would eventually fade. Coming to terms with the fact that I can not “fix” the anxiety associated with these traits by using practiced management will take time. Your insights and references are going to be of great assistance when I feel frustrated. The next challenge….. As the boss, I have to learn to be more patient with everyone who does not notice the details, and I have to remind myself that not everyone thinks in algorithms! Thank you, again.

    • Hi Katia …thanks for commenting here. I’m glad the info on my site can be of assistance to you. Just wondering if you’ve tried managing your anxiety by modifying your diet? Personally I found my anxiety and depression both decreased significantly once I’d been gluten free and casein (dairy) free for a couple of months. Doing a diet challenge and introducing them back into my diet purposely to gauge the effects suddenly brought back all the old feelings, so I knew then that diet and previously unknown food intolerance was the cause of a lot of my “mental discomfort”. Maybe a GFCF diet is worth considering for yourself as well?

  23. I really liked reading this, it makes me happy when people aren’t just listing up what makes us Aspies annoying or so-called ‘disfunctioned’. I myself am a sixteen-year-old Aspie who was diagnosed about five years old, but I love learning about others’ views and opinions as well as meeting fellow Aspies.

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