Strengths & Advantages of being an Aspie!

80 comments on “Strengths & Advantages of being an Aspie!

  1. I love this perspective! I suspect that my exboyfriend is an aspie and when I researched it, I was disappointed to see it viewed so negatively. There are many remarkable characteristics of aspies.

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    • ASPIS are on the wrong planet spoc was an aspi and he was a dancer that could not dance you may have wanted him to be captain kurk buts he s if it wasn’t for spoc the enterprize would crash and burn

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  2. Thanks for commenting. :-) It would be nice if many more people could view aspies this way as well and see all the good things instead of only focusing on what they see as deficits, and to also realise that aspies don’t necessarily see themselves as disabled, defective or “wrong”.

    Diversity is a good thing, and people should be more accepting of it, but as with anything I guess it takes more time for some than others to adjust to new ways of thinking and for these changes to filter through the medical profession and the general populace.

    Cheers,
    Jenny

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    • What a delight to see the glass half full instead of half empty..
      I was researching to see if my daughter in law was aspie, and was so sick of the nagitives that I decided to look for the positive, and found this site, so thank you for that.. I desperately want her to see if perhaps this might be here so as she can understand herself and we can understand her.. so thanks so much for this. I am printing it out so as to show a couple of aspies who are teachers with my husband..

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    • Go raibh mile maith agat, Jenny, thank you so much! I think that this is a brilliant website that shows the positive sides of being an Asperger’s person. I’m really pleased to have come across your site, and delighted to find someone that sees AS as more ‘a difference’ rather than a disability. Too many people focus on the negative side of being AS, and there is an awful lot of public ignorance about the condition. I am a poet and a writer and was finally diagnosed with AS in November last year. Neurodiversity brings so much to the world that people do not see or appreciate. I think that societies in developed countries are by and large at least 20 years behind in their understanding of neurodiversity compared with sexual and gender diversity.

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  3. Carla wrote “I was disappointed to see it viewed so negatively”. Maybe the viewers have been fed up by the Aspie way of cooperation or communication?

    Some years ago I met a man I suspect is an aspie. I was fascinated and mesmerized. As he and his troubleshooter karma and professional skills saved me from really messing up my own job, he’s still my Big Hero. On the other hand, his social skills and lack of interest in anything but professional topics puzzled me and, well…..(long and sad story – PERIOD).
    Anyway, after a long time, I eventually found out about AS and after that, I’ve read whatever I could find! I’m still fascinated, I love the results of the aspie strength – it’s just for me to learn how to communicate.

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  4. Elisabeth wrote, “Maybe the viewers have been fed up by the Aspie way of cooperation or communication?”

    If that’s the case “the viewers” may be suffering from Neurotypical Syndrome. ;-)

    “Neurotypical Syndrome is a neurobiological disorder characterized by preoccupation with social concerns, delusions of superiority, and obsession with conformity.”

    You can find out more about this terrible affliction from the Institute for the Study of the Neurologically Typical. :-D

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    • That is such great and funny comment about neurotypicals. I really laughed at your comment. I don’t get why it has to be such an important thing to fit in and be a social butterfly.

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      • Thanks Cheryl :-D I agree!
        (I’d love to claim the funny comment as my own but it’s actually a quote from the “Institute” in the link just below it.)

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    • Another hallmark of Neurotypical Syndrome is inferior rational abilities. Where Autistics will judge ideas based on how logical it is, Neurotypicals often judge ideas by whether the presenter of the idea greeted them, is liked by them, etc.

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  5. Thanks Liane! :-D Your words have certainly made my day a better day too! I appreciate you leaving a comment on my humble little blog. :-)

    Cheers,
    Jenny

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  6. Wow! Good on you for this thoughtful and well researched review of the topic! I love the way you contribute to increasing compassion and understanding between people and I’m so glad I stopped by to educate myself a bit.

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  7. :-D Thank you Alison!

    BTW I assume you are referring to my article in the Axis Mundi that was linked to this page (and also appears here on my blog), and not this actual page which is obviously not my own work. :-)

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  8. More of what I already knew, but it warrants hearing again. Over and over. Thanks for posting.
    It IS a shame AS is viewed in such a negative light. Not only a shame, but lazy and irresponsible. Where’s the Aspie doctors? Do us Aspie lay-people have to do all the work?
    It’s easier for most, who tend to fear the unknown, to downgrade it into something they can assimilate. Many believe AS is a mental illness or form of mental retardation. This is so much easier to grasp and file than the truth. Especially for those that have watched us grow up and have years of annoyance for a foundation.
    Thanks again
    …v

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  9. Oh my gosh this is amazing! I am 22 and just learned I have AS 2 years ago. It’s been a struggle trying to understand this and really dig deep into my personality to see how my mind really works. It was really hard at first until I found some other sites where people discuss it openly. Finding amazing articles like this help keep me grounded and always provide refreshing perspectives to what it’s like. As a fellow Aspie (love that term btw), it’s really hard to step out of your own frustrations and stress more on the perks of having unusual interests and habits. I’m starting to appreciate my quirky self and also learning to take more initiative with my personal goals and really trying to finish what I start, despite my very distracting interest-pursuing habits.

    If anything I’ve also found that writing a LOT is good to help materialize and organize thoughts which a lot of Aspies can’t do naturally (aka executive dysfunction). I struggle the most with planning and thinking in terms of consequences and physically writing my thoughts down helps me trace where my mind goes and I can actually start to organize my thoughts and gain control over my future in terms of school and working and whatnot. I recommend every Aspie try it for a week or so for 20 minutes a day. It made a world of difference, and it’s addicting!!

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  10. Hello :)
    I have suspected Asperger’s Syndrome (I am 22 and have never been dianosed, but have a life time of showing characteristics of an Aspie) I also am Pagan, and I really like this take on Asperger’s Syndrome, rather than the stigma that seems to surround it in other media forms.

    Thanks for the inspiration

    Blessed be
    xxxx

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  11. Hello, I am an Aspie. I liked reading this, because it is accurate and places a new “spin” on the way people like myself are perceived. All of these good things are true, but I would trade them all in a heartbeat just to be like everyone else. I’ve been isolated my whole life, and wish for nothing more than the end of it. I never asked for this, and I never asked to be born into a world revolving around lies. I wish I could sleep well, and I wish I could make friends, but everyone always leaves in the end. My loyalty is always rewarded with the same lies, the same hurt, and the same isolation. This world is so sick that it thinks the cure is poison, and I just don’t know what to do.

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    • Hi Paul, I’m glad you liked reading the article and I hope it might serve as inspiration for you to be proud of who you are and to focus on your strengths, rather than your perceived shortcomings. I asked one of my sons how he would reply to your comment (he’s the most Aspie of my boys and the first to be diagnosed) and he said, “Live on the internet and you’ll be happy (meaning you can avoid all the irritating people in your life, and you won’t have to keep ‘dumbing yourself down’ to fit in)”. I don’t know that it’s the most practical advice but there is an element of truth there, LOL. If you haven’t already done so I would recommend having a look at online support groups, such as the ones listed on Dr. Tony Attwood’s (the author of the above article) website in the “Support Groups” and “Links” sections of his website http://www.tonyattwood.com.au. That could eventually lead to meeting up with people in person. And if you are already part of such groups, maybe look at some different ones to find the acceptance you’re looking for. Be proud of who you are and surround yourself with people who will support you rather than criticize and bring you down, and maybe you’ll start to notice a change for the better. Just because you’re “different” in some ways doesn’t mean that you’re “wrong” and other people need to learn that from you. Try thinking of yourself as ‘topdog’ instead of ‘underdog’. ;) I know all this is easier said than done, but I really don’t know what else to say, except that I sincerely wish you well.

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    • Hi, Paul. I’m also an Aspie. I go for acupuncture treatments, and it’s working. Why don’t you try acupuncture? Maybe it could help you a great deal. Stay cool :)

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  12. This is a very inspiring and positive perspective on aspies. My son has always been branded as an aspie in any school we take him to, but it is often regarded as something negative or that should be “cured”.

    As parents, we’ve accepted how my son is – and we offer no excuses because it is just the way he is and we love his uniqueness.

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  13. Do you watch the Good Wife? One character semms to have AS ( Kalinda ) AS and she’s taking a lot of shit from the other characters and also from her so called fans.
    After 38 years banginig my head against other’s ,
    I am personnally very tired and angry against neurotipycal fuckwittery euh… comunication.
    I did enjoy reading your posts.The fact is we, aspies, communicate, neurotipytwats MANIPULATE and do nothing but…

    Greetings from France

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    • it is people like you that give ‘aspies’ a bad name with wholly insulting comments and foul language aimed at people like me who devote our lives to including ‘aspies’ within mainstream education!!!! I get shouted at, sworn at, hit, pushed, and being an ‘aspie’ is always the excuse. Tell me very rude person, using your insulting rude language, are you using your condition as an excuse for being vile!!!!?????

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  14. I’m 30 and have always known I was different. I used to tell people I’m the weirdest normal person they would ever meet. I had never heard of AS until a few weeks ago, and when I started reading about it, it’s like all the light bulbs in my head went off at the same time….and then it all made sense! I did great amounts of self-research about all the ASD’s to make sure I didn’t fall in somewhere else, and lo and behold, AS it is! And when I realized there are actually other people who know they are different too, it was a great relief. But I still fail to find why this is called a “syndrome”, in my mind normal people are the ones with the “syndrome”, there’s just more normal people so they have the majority I guess. I see it as a gift and nothing else. Others see it as a problem just because I don’t enjoy anything dealing with social interaction, and all the other little intricate “not normal” things about me. They feel sorry for me, but I could care less about social interaction, it does nothing for me, so why is it a problem? It’s fun for me to read about other people with AS and the way they think about things, it makes me feel even better that I can relate. I might start a blog of my own, sounds fun!!

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  15. I took had my son take his daughter/my grand daughter to the dr the day before she turned 3 she was instantly diagnosed as aspie. It took months for her mom to admit her aspie probability. I insist that those working with us refer to the childs super powers or kryptonite ae work thru or with her needs. My personal goal is to give her all the resources I can to be the best,appiest person she can be. Her pre-school didn’t want to allow for her sensory needs as it would make her feel different and I lost my cool…trust me at three she already knows she has special powers.new grounds I also believe she sees spirits, but I will have to continue to read her ques and figure it out. info is hard to find, and the aspie identification is so new I am in awe watching her every day and I know that no matter what I imagine she might discover or find a cure for, I am I’ll equipped to begin to know her super power capabilities.

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  16. I took had my son take his daughter/my grand daughter to the dr the day before she turned 3 she was instantly diagnosed as aspie. It took months for her mom to admit her aspie probability. I insist that those working with us refer to the childs super powers or kryptonite ae work thru or with her needs. My personal goal is to give her all the resources I can to be the best, happiest person she can be. Her pre-school didn’t want to allow for her sensory needs as it would make her feel different and I lost my cool…trust me at three she already knows she has special powers. The aspie identification is so new I am in awe watching her every day and I know that no matter what I imagine she might discover or find a cure for, I am I’ll equipped to begin to know her super power capabilities but look forward to learning. (my droidx texting is rough..i apologize for improper sentences.)

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  17. i am aspie and i consider it to be an evolutionary leap…….except i hate my crummy social skills.
    good that i have a great NT wife to show me the way. i keep my aspie side hidden from public view .it works most of the time , but when really exhausted then i morph into a full blown aspie. i get an accent , find myself lipsmacking, my gait and hand posture become sterotyipical……
    and i can feel my tongue want to thrust…….yep fair amount of explaining to do ..sometimes.(.especially my aspie accent )….usually make something up as am in a profession where being an aspie is not accepted–yet. living 2 two lives does kind of suck and ya burn up lot of energy faking it in NT world.
    i long for the day when we will be accepted for WHO we are by NT world.

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  18. i should also say ; when i first found out i had aspergers , i think i wept for at least 30 minutes.
    i was alone in the car driving home. i’m not sure why i cried so much, but i don’t think it was for joy , maybe it was all those years of loneliness expressing itself. since then i have learned alot about AS and now feel lots better about things.
    thank you for sight like this one .

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    • …and thank you for your appreciation of my site. It feels good to know I can help others, even if only in a very small way by having this website. :)

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  19. Hi Jenny, I really appreciate this entry and your site. I’m dating an aspie. He is one of the most interesting, intelligent, quirky, honest, sensual, funny, self-aware and self-sufficient guys I’ve ever known. Like any relationship, not without challenges, but we communicate pretty well and directly. I work in international development and think of it a bit that way. I need to be conscious of a different way of thinking and moving in the world. And how to be respectful of that….

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    • I think I am an aspie. Don’t know … but I certainly know I’m not ‘neurotypical’ anywh! I struggled to learn the whole interacting-with-women thing. But I put a lot of effort into learning it because I wanted to have a loving relationship with someone who loves me. I certainly think ‘aspies’ are capable of all the above. We (if I am indeed one) value all those things and really express them when we learn how to …

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  20. Hi, it’s me again. I have a question for all of you. I say that I’m dating an aspie but, in truth, we’ve never used that word. He’s told me that he can’t look me in the eyes, can’t read women especially at the beginning, is highly literal, is a bit virgo (well—organized and particular), needs notice for change, highly sensitive to sounds, smells etc. So, he’s told me all I need to know and, like I said, we seem to communicate well and directly.

    Some friends have insisted that I ask him if he’s ever been diagnosed. I hesitate because of the way it is expressed & the fact that he’s never raised it if he has. And he’s very self-aware. I too have a problem with the word syndrome but I have no problem with the fact that he is aspie. Should I ask him?

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    • Hi JJ, thanks for stopping by. As you can see from some of the comments here, people can have different reactions to finding out they are Aspie. Personally I found it a great relief to know that I wasn’t alone in my ‘weirdness’ (even though I have not been formally diagnosed). Suddenly many incidents in my life, from my first memories of childhood and onwards, all made sense to me now. I came to find all this information when I was looking for info to help one of my sons, who I suspected showed some signs of Autism. I’d never heard of Aspergers until then but suddenly everything fell into place, including why my son was the way he was. I then realised I could trace Aspergers traits back through my father’s side of the family (and forward via my cousins and their children with ADHD and various “eccentricities”). There were relatives past and present, including my dad, who were often referred to as “unique” or “eccentric” but always likeable and trustworthy etc. As I said, for me it was a welcome relief, but I’d found all this info myself. I don’t know quite how I would have reacted if someone had asked me about it before I’d made my own “diagnosis”. I suspect I would have felt some element of defensiveness and maybe even resentfulness about being told I was not ‘normal’ …depends on the manner of delivery of the message I suppose. I don’t think I would have ‘shot the messenger’ but I would have needed time to process the information, and I know I would have immediately thought of all the things I can do better than a lot of others to justify to myself that I was ‘superior’ in some way. Actually a ‘superiority complex’ can be one of the character traits of some Aspies that really annoys NTs, lol. :D

      If you do decide to ask your boyfriend, perhaps it would be better to ask him if he’s ever wondered why he can’t look you in the eye, or ‘read’ people the way others can, and why he’s so sensitive to various stimuli when others aren’t. Then you could tell him how you came across info on Aspergers that describes him exactly. Then ask him if he’s ever heard of it before and if not, let him know that it’s not a bad thing and that it’s a neurological difference that can result in a lot of advantages as well as some difficulties, but it is an explanation of why he is the way he is. Then go on to point out all the wonderful positives about his different ‘way of being’ …or something along those lines anyway… and take things from there and see where it all leads. :)

      I found one thing that really did help me was to read the thoughts and experiences of other Aspies …in fact at times I still get so excited when somebody has written something that I feel but can’t articulate well enough myself. I read it and think yes, yes, yes, that’s me too! Maybe he might see something here in my blog or any of the others I have in my links sections, that ‘resonates’ with him too.

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  21. Thanks so much Jenny! Very helpful advice- I like the…do you ever wonder why? Maybe wait until he brings up one of these traits as a springboard. I once told him that he can be difficult to understand or predict because he’s (wonderfully) not like other guys. I will really bring in all of those qualities that I mentioned above that I love about him. Also struck me in hindsight that I shouldn’t raise it when we’re arguing or having problems communicating. Then it definitely seems like I’m blaming his way of being when any tensions in a relationship are a factor of both. My chaos and drama, at times, can’t be easy on him. And he’s always very straight with me. Problems can arise when I’m feeling and acting insecure & unfairly expect him to understand that I need reinforcement. Thanks again. I will check out those other resources.

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  22. Thank you for your website. I am struggling with the issue that I now know these tendencies have a name and can not be remedied. I thought I could continue to micromanage the feelings, and they would eventually fade. Coming to terms with the fact that I can not “fix” the anxiety associated with these traits by using practiced management will take time. Your insights and references are going to be of great assistance when I feel frustrated. The next challenge….. As the boss, I have to learn to be more patient with everyone who does not notice the details, and I have to remind myself that not everyone thinks in algorithms! Thank you, again.

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    • Hi Katia …thanks for commenting here. I’m glad the info on my site can be of assistance to you. Just wondering if you’ve tried managing your anxiety by modifying your diet? Personally I found my anxiety and depression both decreased significantly once I’d been gluten free and casein (dairy) free for a couple of months. Doing a diet challenge and introducing them back into my diet purposely to gauge the effects suddenly brought back all the old feelings, so I knew then that diet and previously unknown food intolerance was the cause of a lot of my “mental discomfort”. Maybe a GFCF diet is worth considering for yourself as well?

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  23. I really liked reading this, it makes me happy when people aren’t just listing up what makes us Aspies annoying or so-called ‘disfunctioned’. I myself am a sixteen-year-old Aspie who was diagnosed about five years old, but I love learning about others’ views and opinions as well as meeting fellow Aspies.

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  24. Very interesting article, and I agree with the comments as well!

    - JJ, When I read
    “My chaos and drama, at times, can’t be easy on him. And he’s always very straight with me. Problems can arise when I’m feeling and acting insecure & unfairly expect him to understand that I need reinforcement.”

    I felt like you described an issue that I used to have with my fiancée (me being the male aspie). We worked it out by reading about different things that worked for us. Although since one of my aspian superpowers are to newer (in my adult life) being angry, it was primarily to find techniques to help me see her problems and what she really needed/wanted (as upposed to what was being said, which in her upset state did not make much sense to an aspie) in that state. One example would be affirming words.

    I can’t speek for anyone but me, but if he is like me, I think the best way would be to ask if he would read the list of positive traits listed here (and other places) and see how many he has. Making him see it not as a syndrome, but as a different personality type (of which he has many of the benefits but necessarily not all the drawbacks) might be a good way to introduce the idea. Since your last message was over a month ago this tip might be too late, but let us know how it goes!

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  25. I really enjoyed this site/blog! Thank you so much for posting! I even love the star background. It made it so much fun to read the comments. I feel such a warm and genuine liking for the aspies who posted (and the others,too! lol)

    I felt a difference now, finding out about my aspergers/autism, and doing some normal grocery shopping today. I feel as if, I can fake it and interact like a “social” person or to just be me and feel a bit clumsy, let the cart roll off a bit without worry, pick up the Pineapple only to put it back :) hehe. I think it was my nervousness because I’ve gone so long ‘learning’ and memorizing how to fit in, that I created this persona of being the social butterfly, and it worked for me— but other times I grew the natural anxiety. I think we are amazing actors/actresses. So, now that I am having the diagnosis drilled in my mind, its like I have to train myself to remember that my ramblings of social justice, equality, and honest remarks, may not even get through to another, neurotypical’s mind frame. I think this is what hurts me the most. Especially people I care about, its like I want them to see me for me, and to see the love within. Some people can, but they, themselves, don;t know how to respond to that. So, its like they don’t know how to respond to me as much as I to them. It’s all about perception. But, it hurts so much when I am excluded from things I love doing. I feel so bad, seeing photos of people hanging out without me when all I’ve been was honest and efficient in doing my work. People may become upset because I speak the truth and have an ‘amazing’ ;) intuition and put love and passion into all that I do. But, I dislike how people can’t instead embrace these qualities and I can use them to even help them and their companies! :) Sometimes, they see my creativity proposals in the end as useful. But in the beginning I always receive these weird stares/looks. Just walking into a room, people sense me from a mile away. Then again, there are people with sincere smiles , and they seem like they are non judgmental so at least I can get a chance to try and show the real me before anything…. ;) Because they are some people who are beautiful on the inside, and don’t always use their minds/thoughts to create assumptions.;}

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  26. I have a boyfriend with Asperger’s and he is better than any other boyfriend I’ve ever had – kind, reliable, intelligent, thought-provoking, funny and level-headed. Of course, aspies, like any other human beings, come in all varieties and can’t all be tarred with the same brush. These ‘general’ characteristics are, for the most part, very positive ones!

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  27. Having Asperger’s only gives me a different set of cognitive tools and senses to measure the perceived world.

    I’ve noticed that what others do cognitively by logical inference and deduction I do intuitively. This has been tested on a regular basis in real world settings as I currently study and work in engineering. I am logically inclined, but resolve many technical problems from gut feeling. I’ve done this with quite complex problems in quick resolution time, gaining flashes of insight that often create the illusion of higher thinking.

    Good thing I know the difference otherwise my head would never fit through the door.

    I do not think, nor ever hope ever to assume that I am a genius. I often find the comment quite offensive. Overdeveloped visualization skills and encyclopedic knowledge does not denote higher intelligence. Just ’cause I have a really fast search engine in my head doesn’t necessarily mean it’s very reliable. I mean come on….look at Wikipedia.

    Also, I prefer using the term “Atypical” vs “Aspie”; to distinguish myself from those we’ve often labeled the Neurotypicals to specify that I’m just a different branch of the human conundrum. It is to denote that what is deemed the norm is based upon the bias of typical thought structure as established by the larger speaking body. Just to express that we are nothing more or nothing less, just something different.

    Born to think outside of the box is all, by default. Cheers

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  28. Wow this feels amazing becauase even though i havent been diagnosed my mother has always felt like i have Asperger but she couldnt be sure and looking back on my life i realise that everything ive read about it seems to seem like its some has been wrighting about the me that is how i feel but i often have to pretend to not to be but one thing that i notice was that there didnt seem to be anything that mentioned anything good about it so i started to feel abit ashamed that i have it but then i came across this which seemed to say the good qualities that i dont take notice of and now i feel like i can be proud to say that im an aspie or some such so thank you

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  29. I’m not Autistic, but I am at university doing Graphic Design and am currently trying to create a book that will get adults to understand Autism in an informal, fun way. My best friend is on the spectrum and I don’t like the way most places seem to list the disadvantages of it, rather than what amazing people they are.

    This has been very helpful, thank you!

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  30. I am the wife of an undiagnosed husband with aspergers. We are both positive he is. Alot of what is being said about the positive traits about aspies I find to be true. But our problems are mostly with intimacy. There is none. He has no desire to have sex with me and hasnt since about a year into our now 13 year marriage. We have recently separated and I am wondering if anyone has any advice for us that might help in this area.

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  31. I would also like to know if someone could recommend a therapist in our Fayetteville, NC area that has alot of experience working with NT and Aspie couples. We are having difficulty finding someone who has treated adults with Aspergers and couples.

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  32. Hi, sorry to bother you, but would need if you could send me a photo of ducks (autism) in high definition, is to stamp a shirt for Autism Awareness Day. Or you can tell me where I can get it?
    Thank you. My email is manilagv@yahoo.com.ar

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  33. in my experience, my boyfriend with aspergers is actually better in bed than other people…so i suppose that’s a strength and an advantage to it….

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  34. Sometimes i feel nt always don’t say “the truth” as per what i am thinking. But maybe it is down to having a different brain ie thinking.

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  35. I believe my husband has Aspergers. I am responding to the woman who is separated from her Asp husband who is not interested in intimacy. My husband seems disinterested also. I will not give up on him. He is unique, brilliant, difficult at times to understand but I find him to be the most interesting person. He loves me and I know it. I use humor with him and it seems to open him up. I literally insist that he not turn away from intimacy. I would rather have rare moments with this man than frequent moments with any other man. I was married to a “normal” man for many years who ran around on me and disrespected me and our children. Give me an Aspergers man any day. Please don’t give up on your husband. Ask him if he loves you and wants you. They do. Deal with the fact that intimacy does not come natural to him. I have struggled with it now for 3 years. He is worth it. He is so loyal and kind to me. He is interesting and brilliant. I do believe that Aspergers syndrome is an evolutionary leap.

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  36. Not to sound proud, but I am – of my son. He is all of the above. I am including this article in his 18th birthday card. He learned so much from his social skills and pragmatic skills groups (10 years) that his “proudest moment” was in 10th grade – he agreed with his IEP group that he no longer needed an IEP. He is proud to be an Aspie, but refuses the negative stereotype. He took two years of weight training in high school and exercises each day. He has perfect pitch and is a beautiful violinist (and pianist). He also was the president of his high school’s chess club. Recently, he participated in the Yugioh nationals tournament in Chicago. He has a *girlfriend* and many very, very good friends (we had a great high school graduation party for him!). I’ll miss him when he goes off to college in a month. But there is no mother who is prouder. He suffered years and years of intense bullying in elementary and middle school, but I think that has given him an enormous degree of empathy and perspective that I have simply not found in anyone else.

    I have a daughter who is dyspraxic, and my youngest who is now pulling herself out of major depression (also subject of major bullying). My own theory is that non-neurotypicals (i.e., PDD-spectrum, manic-depressives, dyspraxics, etc.) are the ones not only who view the world through an entirely different lens, but ALSO are the ONLY ones who make the largest contributions to society in terms of science, art, architecture, music, literature… you name it. It is because they see the world differently and (some – not all) are able to use an innate talent to express this view that is simply remarkable. Look back in history. Read biographies of the people who contributed to society in remarkable ways *carefully.* I, myself, have a great-grandfather who was written up by National Geographic for having the largest insect collection in the world (the beetle collection is now at the Cleveland’s Natural History Museum). The title of the article is “lonely genius.” The article goes on to substantiate that this man shunned groups of people and was awkward around them. Hard to diagnose back generations, but I’d take a good guess…

    These are the people to celebrate, and I’m also guessing that the plain vanilla (myself included) will not be those identified as the great contributors someday. Someday, this will all turn-around 180 degrees.

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  37. I love this! I am also Autistic, A Typical Autism: PDD-NOS. I am 23, I was diagnosed when 13. But my motto I go by is Autistic & Proud. People ask me if I want to be ‘normal’ and I say to them “Well what is normal? In my eyes, if society doesn’t perceive it as normal then it isn’t normal. Thus why us Aspies are seen as ‘different’. But I personally don’t think the word normal should exist. Its only a perception, (not sure if that is the right word).

    I am also a Tarot user and Wiccan. I have a personal page on facebook with my art and music on, to help other Aspies to have the courage to show others what they can do also! http://www.facebook.com/auandproud

    I love this blog!
    Kaylee

    Like

  38. I live in the UK,and have always felt different..At school I was bullied for that reason,which at the time I did not understand; .in the fields of Health ,education and practical subjects I did well helped by dedication ,patience and perseverance.Taking things literally,being honest but not fully understanding other peoples ”emotions” was difficult..Aspergers is a social not intellectual impediment,but I have found does have many advantages.
    It helps to analyse problems logically and clinically.
    It helps attention to detail.
    I do not have ”emotions”ruling logic.
    I do not worry at being the odd man out.
    I never feel lonely,though I do have a supportive wife.
    I like solitude and silence.
    I feel more at home in the natural world than being among crowds.
    I feel confident in myself and can act independently.
    I do not follow the herd.
    As I have have said,there are many compensations

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  39. What up, people. My name is Alt Tab and I’m glad to see aspies portrayed in such a positive light, as if that took work. I was diagnosed with aspergers at age 30, not even a year ago and I’ve already read a lot of the literature on Aspergers. I ‘m also one of the most outspoken aspies you;ll ever meet. If you took DNA from Sheldon from The Big Bang Theory and threw it in a bunson burner with the DNA of Gil Scott Heron,, you would get me. First, this whole “social” thing. I feel like I’m listening to a poorly written rap battle verse. so this “social’ thing is the only bad thing they can come up with? Really? aAnd how deep is this “social” thing anyway? If we’re so socially inept, how are we able to converse right now? I think it’s who we’re socializing with that is the problem. The NT’s can’t even figure each other out; why should we be charged with doing it?That’s pretty damned “self absorbed” don’t you think? And other thing, what’s up with the whole “lack f empathy” thing? I think some doctor somewhere asked some aspie out on a date, got turned down and is now just bitter about it. Really, people, these of some of the most self absorbed statements I’ve ever heard.
    And now on to opnions:
    I think this whole social issue is purely subjective. This summer, I attended a camp for aspies for the first time. You know what? I didn’t see any social problems. I didn’t see anyone hiding in corners, I didn’t see any of the behavior i read in any of the propaganda pamphlets I read. Why was that? I feel like someone has told me that they’re sick and can’t come to work only do pop up at come inicon later that day. In other words, if socializing were sucha huge issue, it should impact every activity and not seemingly fade in and out. I think I have the solution to everybody who says that they just want to be normal, get a gang. You don’t think NTs are just so intuned to a magical frequency that you just happen not to understand, do you? It’s not magic; it’s simply 12 of them and 1 of you.
    But this is only my first blog. You’ll have plenty of time to hear from me.

    Like

    • When I was at school, the other kids had trouble relating to me, not the other way round. They weren’t interested in astronomy, electronics, coins, stamps, heraldry, trains, aircraft, photography, languages etc, so they had nothing to say to me. The result was that they pretty much left me alone to my books. It was lonely until I went to secondary school and there were other equally nerdy kids to socialise with. Re Sheldon: I think the things he says out loud. “Socialisation” is simply not saying what you think but talking about meaningless shit just for the sake of talking. Blah. Hate it.

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  40. Trebor., I’ve read that story before. By the way, where’s the hangman’s rope for these bastards who come to school to not learn about astronomy? Anybody going to dock them 15 IQ points and slap them with a labelcan see it now: Slackers syndrome. Characterized by an acute self absorbtion with using people and things for an unintended purpose. Let’s do it! You and I can ride across the country passing judgment, revoking driver’s liscences and making others feel like shit as we go! But I digress. I would like to learn about astronomy. I’m writing a series of sifi books where 1 of my characters majors in astronomy in college. My 1 astronomy information source was Raj from Big Bang, but unfortunately, since he hates himself so much and Sheldon is the only secure 1 in the bunch, he obviously is no good for any information. Maybe 1 day, I can let you read it. The series is called, “Saturn” and it’s a futuristic story about people with Aspergers who live their lives freely and without neurotypical input. Even the villains are aspies so their lives are completely care free, but it’s a hell of a lot better than life on planet pain.
    Keep the comments coming. Peace!

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  41. Alt Tab, please let us know if you decide to publish one day. It sounds like a very interesting perspective of life on another planet or planet earth 200 years from now! I recently discovered I am probably one of this kind and I would like to explore the possibility of Aspies – or as better called by people on earlier posts, “neuro-atypicals” – are indeed an evolutionary leap. In my mind it just makes sense…! For one thing, we are growing in number. Nowadays we can find more and more information on our kind on the internet. I feel the world would be a much better place if it was governed my Aspies / a-typicals or however we choose to call ourselves. How can’t the rest of the population see that? I’ve been taking IQ tests ever since I was in my 20′s just to reassure myself that I am not stupid as others kept treating me like. Every time my IQ came out above average. At one point I had reached 136. I just cannot comprehend that other people cannot “get” my point of view and they prefer to label me as stupid or incompetent! It just blows me away!! Sadly enough this has destroyed my professional career. I have the feeling that one day the human kind will come to realize that by ignoring us or labeling us as people with a problematic “syndrome” they have done a great disservice to society. I just hope this is sooner instead of later. Maybe we should help in making the public more aware of all the special qualities and skills we bring to the world. Then maybe one day instead of people concentrating on our lack of social neurotypical abilities they will concentrate on our special talents, creativity, care for the greater good, higher ideals, loyalty and thinking-outside-the-box abilities.
    I very much appreciate this site and the blog with everybody’s positive comments. I will be reading the new posts regularly. I would love to hear what other people have to say about the evolutionary leap theory – I just hope it is not just my arrogant wishful thinking!

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    • Aria, I am definitely on the same page as you here. We are more logical and objective and have the ability to understand a lot more than the average ‘NT’. It frustrates me when I see politicians and business leaders forging ahead based on wrong information and logical fallacies. Fortunately, the importance of technology to our society means that we are becoming ever-more important.

      Like

      • Thanks for your reply Rob, I see so much wrong in the world and some easy ways to correct it, but money, power and complacency always comes first with the average human. I guess this is why our planet is being destroyed and the following generations are going to suffer the consequences. And this is only one of the major problems that we as humans face. Second one on my list by order of importance is the politics played in the food and medical industry. These industries don’t serve humans anymore but the altar of money or better yet whoever is managing it! I feel so powerless thinking about the abuse and manipulation that we are going through because of them. I imagine we do have the power of choice in the kind of food we buy but not so much in medicine. We really have to do our research before we let anyone subject us to any kind of treatment. I would also like to see more reaction from our part to all of this. Yes, technology is important and the majority of us is indeed employed in this industry but we don’t control it. Again, any thoughts on this will be greatly appreciated.

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  42. Aria, what up. It’s Tab. I am going to publish the books; That’s why I’m writing them. I understand that not everyone who starts a project like this does it to publish. However, these books are for publishing. It’s a perspective that not only hasn’t been covered before, but is also a perspective that hasn’t been able to be covered before. I haven’t read a comic book yet that has dared to consider what life would be like if we were left to plot our own course through life without being harassed. There have been some attempts such as the X Men and Star wars. Saturn is a series of books about the lives of aspies and the issues they deal with among themselves, super villains only being 1 of them and not even the main issue. You sent this response just in time. My computer just recently crashed taking the Saturn books with it and I didn’t know if I was going to start them again. I guess I’ll sign off here and get back to work.

    Like

    • Alt Tabb, thanks for this. As I already mentioned, do let us know when they are published. Good luck with this project! And don’t forget to always back up your files! :-)

      Like

  43. Hello Positive Aspies. I am the mother of an Aspergers young man who wasn’t diagnosed until he was almost 30. He graduated from a Conservatory of music and is a brilliant blind pianist. I wont say his name as he blogs and I don’t want to him to think that I am “mothering” him still. I just want to say that this blog is Awesome and I am so glad that it exists. I have read about the talent, the insight, the brilliance, and the cleverness of many of you and as a NT, it does my heart good to know that my son is among a host of brilliance. I told my son about his diagnosis this past April while watching a show that was on for American Autism Month. It was about a baseball players who has Aspergers who was brilliant in baseball and numbers. My son could relate to what was going on with him and midway through the movie I said, “You are my Aspire” he said “Wow, that is so cool” and has embraced who he is in his new role. His plans are to incorporate his concerts with a session afterwards that educates his followers about Aspergers and the beauty of those who have it and the numerous contributions they have made to society. We have been online looking for every thing we can find on the topic and then started looking for the positive things about aspergers because we, quickly, got tired of the stereotypical negative things that were being said. Continue to do what you are doing and blogging has been the best thing that has ever happened to my son. I am so proud of him because he is so proud of who he is. Once I read this blog to him and he is ok with my identifying him, I will share who he is with you. Again, many thanks for sharing yourselves and for making us mothers know that there is a place where our children, who may be adults, can fit in because of who they are. Incidentally, we watch “Big Bang” together and laugh our heads off at Sheldon because Sheldon hits close to where we live. God Bless each of you.

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      • Thanks Rob. I have since shared my blog with my son who is an Aspie who said it was a good blog. I was glad he was not angry. He will continue to blog and will reveal himself when he is ready. Thanks, again. I am proud to be the mother of an Aspite

        Like

  44. My 21 year old was diagnosed at 5 and I was diagnosed just under 3 years ago at the beginning of 2011 with it as well at age 39. Explains a lot and for years my ex-wife and mother had suspected it. It took a year from hell with a lot of negative stuff happening and an astute doctor who sent me to a shrink when i went to see about anti-depressants to have me diagnosed. Ironically I used to work with people as a disability support worker and kids in care who had Asperger’s as a part of their diagnosis. Explains why I was able to be good at my job, have a close and understanding relationship with my boy and why I was unable to keep jobs even though I got 99% of the ones I went for. Always told my big boy that it is a gift if we can use it right. The perfectionism, obsessiveness with an interest and the ability to see things in a way others can’t. Unfortunately he is on a pension like I have been put on now. Still, with 4 younger siblings via his mum, 1 by me with the mother of my heart son, he is a man who is as gentle and patient as any I have seen. He knows how much he is loved by me and his siblings and how proud I am. Been blessed with him that’s for sure. :)

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  45. I’ve always felt “different”, like an alien who crash landed here and I have spent my entire life studying these fascinating creatures we call people. I was bullied as a kid, partly because I have been a bleeding heart and a pacifist my whole life and would never fight back. I suffered from major anxiety and self-loathing which I attributed to my rocky home life and my mother constantly telling me that she just “doesn’t get me” for as long as I can remember. Intimate relationships have always been hard for me. In theory, I want to be married and live happily ever after, but any time I have found myself in a committed relationship it always seemed to cause more suffering and pain then when I was alone. I have been in and out of therapy and have been diagnosed as having an anxiety disorder, depression, and even bi-polar. I have been on every medication known to man (including lithium) which only ever made things worse, we’re talking, made me suicidal worse. Along with all of this, I have always struggled with a sense of identity. I am a chameleon and as such I can “fit in” anywhere I go, but it always just feels like playing a part. When I come home, I find myself thinking, “Who the hell was THAT girl?”. Though at the same time, it felt very natural to slip in and out of their worlds. To make a lifetime worth of information short, a guy I have been seeing for a while mentioned to me that I should read a book about women with Aspergers. When I asked him why he told me that he thought I might have it. I was PISSED. How could he think I had autism?!?! I’m highly intelligent, amazingly articulate, and socially well adapted. None of these things fit into the paradigm of what I thought it meant to be autistic. But since I am an endless pit of information gathering I decided to humor him. Holy Crap. In SO many ways it was like reading the biography of my life. I identified with so many of the aspects of what this woman was describing. But then she started talking about how women with Aspergers struggle with communication and verbal interaction. She talked about things like freezing up and moments of becoming mute. She also talked about how women with aspergers are very often brilliant with numbers and systems. For me, this couldn’t be further from my reality. I have always been a super high functioning communicator. According to my parents, I have been speaking like a grown up since I was a small child. I have never had an issue expressing my thoughts or feelings. If anything, I use TOO MANY words and too much articulation. On the flip side, I am TERRIBLE at math. Whenever I try to do anything more than simple arithmetic it is as if my brain literally shuts off. I went through a complete cognitive evaluation 3 years ago and the results came back that in areas such as language and verbal skills I am in the 90th percentile, but when it comes to math and anything like unto it, I’m sitting below average. SO! All of of this has made me wonder. So much of what I have read fits, but this seems like a pretty big thing. Is it possible that a person with Aspergers could be a high functioning communicator, very witty, and very personable in superficial situations. Is poor communication and awkward social interactions always the case in people with Aspergers? Am I barking up the wrong diagnosis here?

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    • Hi Brittney, I don’t think you’re barking up the wrong diagnosis at all. Have you seen the page here on my blog about Girls & Asperger Syndrome? (http://theotherside.wordpress.com/my-ramblings-about-autism-aspergers-syndrome/girls-aspergers-syndrome/) …there’s lots of links to other articles at the end too that you might find of interest. I can totally relate to the idea of playing a part – that’s what girls with AS are very good at doing, much more so than the boys, so we don’t stand out in the crowd for the ‘wrong’ reasons as much as boys do. Also not everyone with AS is a maths genius – I think that’s just a generalisation – my youngest son with AS is hopeless with maths (as are 2 of his older brothers) but is good with language, and sometimes too wordy, something I have in common also as I tend to use too many words to express an idea that others do in half the space. ;) My kids have also always spoken like grown-ups (or used what some would call more formal speech) since very early. So-called ‘normal’ adults would make fun of that and call them names like “little professor” and seem to be upset with me for having kids that didn’t speak baby gibberish like theirs did – like I was somehow at fault and not allowing them to be kids. I could never understand this and it did make me angry to have to defend my kids’ natural intelligence and their preference for being articulate. In later years people have told me what “lovely boys” they are as they are polite, friendly and communicate well in social situations. The youngest 2 are diagnosed with mild AS and the older 2 have many traits but haven’t been assessed. Anyway my advice is to keep reading all you can about AS and even if you never bother with a formal diagnosis you may come to a better understanding of why you are like you are. Above all, though, be proud of who you are – AS is just another “way of being” – it is not “wrong” just “different”. :D

      Like

  46. Hi, my name is Lee, I’m 68 yrs old and I’m a Aspie. I was diagnosed in my early sixties. I have always known that I was different than everyone else, I just didn’t know how. I was always the ‘odd man out’ and didn’t know why. Getting diagnosed was quite a relief to me. Knowing that there is a name for people like me and that there really are other people like me, is great. Since my diagnosis, I have learned a lot about AS . Having grown up with Aspergers, I know it is hard on children and young adults. It can lead to loneliness, isolation and depression. I think it very important for parents to be aware of the symptoms and seek help if need be. While there is no cure, consoling can help a child to work with their weakness and, more importantly, take advantage of their considerable strengths.

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  47. Asperger Syndrome is NOT AT all about dysfunction and disability etc.

    I just corrected it for you. ;) Hans Asperger hadn’t had a syndrom at all and a neurological variety isn’t a dysfunction or disability at all. Only people who think that being a NT is right state of mind, surpremicists or bigots would think that way or aspies who adopted their world view.

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