Time

I came across this poem I wrote a long, long time ago which I’d pretty much forgotten about, so I’m adding it here for ‘posterity’ (or at least as long as this blog lasts).

I wrote it in my best fancy handwriting at the time and illustrated the outside of the page around the poem, so the whole thing has been scanned to display its prettiness .

You can click on the image to enlarge it, plus I’ve typed it out below so it’s easier to read.

Time is non-existent –
a mere illusion due to occurrence.

Reality is split apart –
Material things melt into emptiness
and dreams become real.

I am searching, seeking but never finding,
something, somebody.
Forever upwards in an endless spiral –
I am falling.

There is terror — screaming, shrieking, louder, louder
My mind is spinning faster –

Silence.

The drums beat.
Faceless people wildly dancing,
surging and swirling to the rhythm.
It is my heartbeat.

I spin faster;
reality flashes past me in a shower of bright lights.
Your eyes are staring at me,
yet you do not see me.
Objects grab at me, twisting, turning.
The fear of what eyeless faces cannot see –
the unknown.
Confusion — my mind spins faster, faster, faster –
then slower, quietly sinking.

My heart stops: fusion of noises,
of the real and the vividly imaginary.
I am creeping backwards, downwards
through life’s illusions
to the beginning of inexistence.

I am floating, a solitary figure –
Realization of the peacefulness and serenity about me,
and of the loneliness.

I reach out into space, to find nothing, nothing but sadness
and disappointment –
there is no love.

I am falling, crying;
searching, seeking but never finding what I want,
behind your unseeing eyes.

Trapped in a confusion of realities,
wanting, needing –
Don’t leave me behind,
without love; crying.

It is quiet, I am floating, waiting;
seeing you as you don’t see me
and dying,
because I was never born.

Copyright © 1977 Jenwytch